The Game of Mahjong

I see the now. I see the evermore. All is clear. All is peaceful. Balancing at this point is easy because it is the most natural occurrence. I see the now. I see the evermore.

*

First I receive my tiles. Nothing more, nothing less. Flowers are replaced. Turn by turn. More flowers are replaced. Turn after turn. While there is a wait, cards are arranged, a discard tile is set.

Next I play the game. Watch the throws, adjust my game to the flow. I must be conscious of the flow. Heighten my senses, understand the mental energies. If I have a fan already I make my first set as soon as it comes. Only if my cards can go either way.

If it has eight of the same I make my efforts towards getting all the same. If it is distinctly 3 of a kind I play that as well. If it is a very good combination of consecutives, that's what I will do. As I said, see the flow. See the flow of EVERYTHING.



Clarity is when you see the immediate to the infinite. You know what to focus on now. And you do that. You know what you have to do next and you smoothly move on to that. Like a paragraph to the next. Coherent and cohesive. Perfection. Most of all, you know what the entire purpose is and it all links up to that. There is no confusion as to which step comes first in the mind, which surrounds and which follows. They are all different but arranged. They are not fixed but flexible. They respond to the flows that comes and goes, and they are guiltless and egoless. No pain on the slips, no self-labelling on the falls. Each slip is easily utilised to the next step. Each fall is seen as part and parcel of the process.

Clarity is the undeniable wisdom.

*

I see the now. I see the evermore. All is clear. All is peaceful. Balancing at this point is easy because it is the most natural occurrence. I see the now. I see the evermore.

The Golden Compass (Film)

I am extremely excited that they are going to screen the first part of Philip Pullman's trilogy. The books were so special to me for it was fantasy at its best. Childlike, magical and romantic. There are just so many elements in it that got me all worked up and begging for more. It talked about nearly everything I like to talk about and created a beautiful world that I would have liked to create, be in or just dream about.

The visions in my head as I read the book are now going to materialise on the magical big screen. I can't wait!

my family

my beautiful father...

your love for music was what connected us fully
that understanding of Emotion as an intelligent force
and so there was always that trust we had in each other
to realise the subtleties that lies between all

but as the years went by the light dimmed in your eyes
your skepticism grew, your Emotions seemed to have died
your being just you became overwhelmed by the you that the ignorant only knew
i see you daddy, and i know you - the fire that is quintessentially you.


my beautiful mother...

your superficial concerns bothered me
how the path to success was such a strict one-way route
and then as your endless attention choked me silently,
your soul neverendingly ignored mine

but as the years went by i saw you
the you as a child to a girl to a mum
the woman that had fears, had dreams, had tears
and i understood that i am you and you are me.


my beautiful brother Cedric...

your happiness was undesirable to those around
it rendered you too carefree to a bourjeoisie crowd,
too unable to see the drive that you ought to have
and i was sucked in with just that little help from my own insecurities

but as my self-awareness grew, i saw how misjudged you were
a victim of weakness in others and not weakness in you
a character borne out of steered perception and not out of truth
and i remembered the boy that i have always loved so deeply yet quietly.


my beautiful brother Calixtus...

your genius was never in question
at any young age you were able to take on the knowledge of any adult
but you became just the baby prodigy
and when there was another and when you grew up, you disappeared.

what nobody understood was the depths of your genius
it carried beyond the bounds of academic progress
it was the passionate search for the answers to mysteries
you are the brave warrior soldiering on to take on the universe.


my beautiful brother Carrick...

your mature selflessness became misunderstood
you were uncommon and humble and sweet
you were cutie as cutie can be
you were Too Good To Be True

but it was true and you are my most precious gift
so full of life, so full of every possible good thing i know in this existence
you are so very precious to me
you are my bestest, bestest friend


so much love to give to all of you... so much joy... i thank you all for everything.

Cedric & Me