tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88807247272350014572024-03-19T21:03:37.696+08:00Contemporary Romantic WritingsExpressive art is the beautiful key to understanding/Only when you subject the mind to meditative delivery/Can you truly live your truth/But truth, as truth is in essence,/Universal accuracy, for it is not true if there can be another./Thus if truth is, as truth should only be,/The individual's voice equates to all others.//This is the word of the Romantic poets.Celestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-9143371701104693432009-02-08T06:02:00.004+08:002009-02-24T07:42:22.017+08:00Continuation... Mercury, Venus & MarsMercury represents communication, Cartesian and logical spirit.<br /><br /><a href="http://image01.ctvdigital.com/images/pub2upload/2/2008_1_15/mercury-far-side-first-imag.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 1024px; height: 1024px;" src="http://image01.ctvdigital.com/images/pub2upload/2/2008_1_15/mercury-far-side-first-imag.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />Mercury in Aquarius<br /><br />Not necessarily loud or flamboyant, but she often has a quiet way of stirring others up. Delights in exposing what she deems biases in others' way of thinking. Very quick to contradict others, and to offer a different perspective, she enjoys intellectual debates. Amazing powers of observation, and a quirky way of looking at the world. Humorous and interesting. Loves practical jokes and raising eyebrows.<br /><br /><br />House:<br />Mercury in VIII<br /><br />Has a fear of death, but who doesn't? She can be tormented at night. She likes research, investigation, enquiries. Studies well.<br /><br /><br />Aspects:<br />52 Trine Mercury - Mars<br /><br />She likes to discuss, likes polemic. She has good judgement and is determined. She is a worker and has lots of energy. She has a lively intelligence and goes to the heart of things.<br /><br /><br />Venus represents an interest for emotions and values, exchange and sharing with others.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.dlr.de/en/Portaldata/1/Resources/portal_news/NewsArchiv2005/venus_oberfl_art.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 3000px; height: 2250px;" src="http://www.dlr.de/en/Portaldata/1/Resources/portal_news/NewsArchiv2005/venus_oberfl_art.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />Venus in Capricorn<br /><br />Venus in Capricorn people will try to win your heart by displaying self-control, presence of mind, and responsible behavior. These lovers want you to know they are goal-oriented, witty, savvy, and controlled. Nobody can get the best of them. They want you to see just how competent they are. They like some measure of predictability in their relationships as they are cautious in love. <br /><br />Venus in Capricorn men and women project an aura of competency and their loner-like behavior can be attractive, in a cool way. They don't go gaa-gaa over love, or at least they don't express as much. Their lovers may complain that Venus in Capricorns are a little too practical and deliberate. Certainly, they can come across as lacking in warmth and spontaneity. Truth is, they can be rather romantic souls who yearn for a partner to share their lives with. Others' image of their relationship matters to them. They are conservative and willing to commit. Venus in Capricorn people are attracted to serious, goal-oriented lovers. They are a little shy in matters of the heart, but they don't want you to know it. If you like knowing where your relationship is headed, you'll be mighty pleased with Venus in Capricorn. These people plan ahead in love, and, unlike Venus in Pisces, they will let you know exactly where they (and the relationship) are headed. Pleasing Venus in Capricorn involves showing them you are practical and realistic. They want to impress you with the things they do. Appreciate their "saving for a rainy day" attitude, and be aware that they want to show you off in a quiet way.<br /><br /><br />House:<br />Venus in VII<br /><br />Her fate depends a lot on marriage. Marries for love, children, happy emotional life.<br /><br /><br />Aspect:<br />7 Sextile Venus - Uranus<br /><br />Independent in love. Her love life is rich, but with passing love affairs. She tires quickly and is scared of losing her liberty. If she marries, she will regret it. She has that little something that attracts the opposite sex: she likes amorous adventures, she is romantic. She is the eternal lover and, of course, is unfaithful if she has a serious relationship. She likes art, anything new.<br /><br /><br />Mars represents the desire for action and physical energy.<br /><br /><a href="http://www-mars.lmd.jussieu.fr/granada2003/images/mars_brothers.gif"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 1072px; height: 728px;" src="http://www-mars.lmd.jussieu.fr/granada2003/images/mars_brothers.gif" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />Mars in Libra<br /><br />Mars in Libra natives often reflect about things before they act. Decisiveness is not their strong point, but they do, eventually, get things done. Many people with this position procrastinate, generally because they feel the need to weigh all of the alternatives before taking action. <br /><br />Life isn't always fair, as Mars in Scorpio would say, but Mars in Libra will seldom accept this notion. These natives can easily get caught up in defending themselves and others. Although their overall goal is to live peacefully, they stir others up with their desire to balance everything. Still, they always play innocent when they are challenged, and can generally charm the birds out of the trees to win your favor. Passive-aggressiveness is practically the hallmark of this position. They don't want to look like they are ever being mean or unfair, but aggression has to go somewhere! Too often, this results in sneaky behavior and subterfuge. On the other hand, some Mars in Libra people turn the Mars energy into action, and they fight for Libran justice and fairness in the world. On the up side, Mars in Libra people are adept at predicting when problems and discord will occur well in advance. They know how to compromise and are excellent at conflict management. <br /><br /><br />House:<br />Mars in IV<br /><br />Quick decisions, she has a lot of things on her plate and wants to climb the social ladder. She will succeed through phenomenal work-rate. Stormy family life, where her aggressiveness shows itself.<br /><br /><br />Aspect:<br />29 Conjunction Mars - Saturn<br /><br />She is energetic and determined. She has strength and resistance, ability and patience: she is tough, and sometimes insensitive, and puts all her energy and talents into overcoming all the obstacles to her success. She is obstinate, calculating, does not take on anything without having thought of all the possible consequences, she can take all the time in the world and never loses patience to achieve her objectives. She is not particularly popular in her circle, but is feared and respected.<br /><br />--> From cafeastrology.com<br /><br />"Astrology is a tool to gain objective awareness of your own patterns of behavior. We all have tendencies that lead to inappropriate actions and feelings of isolation and unhappiness. The trick is to discover our own "glitches" and empower ourselves to avoid them. With this objective knowledge we can choose to make adjustments that result in our life operating more smoothly." - Jan Spiller<br /><br />~Since everything in the universe is inter-connected, the movement and position of planets has their effects upon us and astrologers have discovered that it is the intangible energies surrounding us and within us that are most influenced.~Celestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-78642553811613369282009-02-03T17:20:00.006+08:002009-02-23T16:30:55.191+08:00Sun, Moon ... to be continued<strong>The Sun</strong> represents vitality, a sense of individuality and outward-shining creative energy.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.astrobirthcharts.com/SunSigns/SunAquarius.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 377px; height: 541px;" src="http://www.astrobirthcharts.com/SunSigns/SunAquarius.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />Sun in Aquarius<br /><br />One of the standout characteristics of those born under the Sun Sign of Aquarius is their unwillingness to follow the beaten track. With advancement and progress on their minds, there can be an irreverence to old and outdated ways of thinking and doing things. Many Aquarians aim to free themselves of personal and social conditioning. Although open to change in theory, Aquarians can be surprisingly stubborn. Their idealism runs strong, but they can be very fixed in their opinions.<br /><br />Often a bit aloof and even standoffish, Aquarians nonetheless are usually well-liked. They are curious and observant, and tolerant in a broad sense. Prejudice and bias is offensive to the typical Aquarius. Aquarians are generally very clever, witty, and intellectual. They value progress and frankness. It's difficult to throw Aquarians for a loop--they're generally on top of things. There is a bit of reformer in Aquarius. They'll try to get you to see through superficiality, and encourage you to be open and forthright. "Be true to yourself" and "Don't follow the crowd" are mottos we easily associate with this sign. Aquarians need space and value personal freedom. Any attempt to box them in will likely fail. They'll happily return the favor; and they will treat people from all walks of life as equals. Equality and fairness are hallmarks of the sign. If you're quirky and "different", all the better. <br /><br />Short description:<br />She is independent, autonomous, and has progressive ideas.<br />Weaknesses: an unusual, rebellious and revolutionary spirit.<br /><br />House:<br />Sun in VIII<br /><br />You have a great urge to go farther or deeper into life every step of the way. You want to experience more, and your desires are both powerful and intense. It is hard for you to find satisfaction in common experiences, and you have magnetic power if you choose to use it wisely. You are fascinated with what lies under the surface, and at some point in your life, self-improvement is a big interest. You are attracted to unexplored or taboo areas of life, and you avoid all things superficial. Financial problems may ease after marriage.<br /><br /><br />Aspect:<br />151 Sextile Sun - Uranus<br /><br />It is natural for you to question tradition. You are, above all things, an individualist. You naturally rebel against that which is established. It doesn't mean that you consistently break all the rules, but you definitely do question some of the rules, especially those that simply don't make much sense. You possess a huge distaste for routine. You work best when you have some say as to when and how you get things done. You possess much self-integrity. You avoid labeling people and are most offended when others attempt to label or stereotype you. <br /><br />You easily embrace new ways of doing things, you stick up for the underdog, and you express yourself in unique and inspiring ways. You don't have to try to stand out as unique--you are original, creative, and progressive without trying. You are far from pretentious. You value honesty and truth, and you avoid putting on airs. You believe in the equality of people, and easily relate to people from all walks of life. You possess an unmistakable enthusiasm about life, and generally your life is interesting because you invite unusual or adventurous experiences into your life. You are generally appreciated by others because you are open-minded, fair, and not judgmental. Nothing really seems to faze you! You take things in stride, and are rarely shocked or taken aback by human behavior. <br /><br /><br /><strong>The Moon</strong> represents the emotional responses, unconscious pre-destination, and the self-image.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.findyourfate.com/astrology/moon-astrology/moon-capricorn.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 100px; height: 100px;" src="http://www.findyourfate.com/astrology/moon-astrology/moon-capricorn.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />Moon in Capricorn<br /><br />Being useful and productive are basic needs for Lunar Capricorns. Because they generally keep their emotions under check, Moon in Capricorn people come across as competent people. However turbulent their emotions may be under the surface, Lunar Capricorns keep cool-headed--and they come across as steady and reliable people. This position of the Moon suggests a desire for clear boundaries and realistic goals. Not much for taking risks in life, Lunar Capricorns look for safety and security in most everything they do. Most of them respect authority and tradition, and many are planning well ahead of the rest of us. You likely won't have to remind them to protect their interests, plan for old age, or keep fall-back money in their bank accounts. These things come naturally to them.<br /><br />Calm, cool, and collected--these words sum up Moon in Capricorn natives well. Messy emotions and "leaky" souls are a bit frightening for most with this position of the Moon. Truth is, they can have plenty of mood swings and some dark emotions now and again. Lunar Capricorns are often quite hard on themselves, and would benefit from letting their guard down once in a while. They quickly garner reputations of being mountains of strength, and they easily hide their sensitivity behind a sarcastic manner.<br /><br />You may have read that Moon in Capricorn natives are a bit cold and calculating. The fact is, they are unlikely to be any less emotional than the other 11 sign positions of the Moon--they simply aren't comfortable "letting go" when it comes to emotions. They keep their emotions under control. Wherever Capricorn is found in the chart, there is a desire for structure and control. Capricorn is the sign of organization and efficient management; so, when the Moon is found in the sign, the world of emotions are well-managed and handled in an efficient and practical manner. At the heart of Lunar Capricorns is a powerful need to feel worthwhile in the real world. There's a basic need for respectability and a big attachment to the world of the senses. Lunar Capricorns put a lot of value in all things tangible and real. And, perhaps more than anything, they need to be respected by others in order to feel secure. <br /><br />Short description:<br />Reserved and cautious. Attracted to politics. Selective, earthy, success comes by means of other people, who recognize her qualities.<br />Weaknesses: material worries, savings, restrictions. Does not get carried away by love.<br /><br />House:<br />Moon in VII<br /><br />Marriage is very important for her, for better and for worse. Cannot stand being alone. Likes business relationships.<br /><br /><br />Aspect:<br />5 Sextile Moon - Jupiter<br /><br />She is generally pleasantly composed, due to an inner sense of harmony and emotional balance. She is optimistic--and realistically so, most of the time--which contributes to her overall "luck". She is able to get a real perspective on emotional matters that not only benefits her outlook, she is able to offer support to others when needed. Broad-mindedness is a wonderful characteristic. Quick to find humor in situations, she is generally warm and fun to be around. Deep down, she believes in the basic goodness of people and of life in general, and this basic and natural attitude helps her to attract positive circumstances and to make good connections. One of her best qualities is tolerance. Usually, she doesn't take life too seriously in the sense that she believes in having a bit of fun. her hunches are more often than not bang-on.<br /><br />She is frank, honest, optimistic and generous. She likes good cooking, her comforts. Her friendships are sincere. She is a worker and knows how to surround herself with the right people: she is appreciated at work.<br /><br />--> From Cafe Astrology<br /><br />"The energies that were active in the atmosphere at the exact moment of your birth were stamped on the cellular level of your very being and remain a part of you during this lifetime. Your birthchart is actually a schematic: a graph that shows this "inner wiring" you were born with, but what you do with that wiring is up to you." - Jan Spiller<br /><br />~Astrology is the study of planetary movements in relation to the intangible energies exposed into the universe by humankind. Personalities & experiences are two such coloured energies, as seen through a microscopic world.~Celestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-2222541107085990492009-01-24T15:11:00.000+08:002009-01-25T07:16:42.683+08:00Twenty-Seven / It is TimeIt is time to make a stand. <br />To insist upon the style of living that I want for my life without hesitation and guilt.<br />It is time to take action.<br />To insist upon the way of living that makes sense to me despite perhaps not making sense to others.<br />It is time to stand tall.<br />To no longer be apologetic for who I really am and what I really think and want to say.<br />It is time to embrace myself.<br />To love who I am whole-heartedly not just when I am alone but all the god damn bloody time.<br />It is time to truly smile.<br />To see with real humour the things going on around me and to have be seen back with precision.<br />It is time to EXIST.<br /><br />- And so I begin my 27th year and since every fresh beginning should be commemorated with sweet honesty, I will declare the reason for this entry in all its honesty and express that shall I come out of the next few days heartbroken and devastated by the lost of my family, I know that it is still the reality of the exact situation, without my interference in changing myself, pretending to be a person that they expected me to be and swallowing the person they cannot accept. At least I will know whether they loved me for me.<br /><br />I have always been unconventional in thought and deed. The word 'unconventional' though was just one noted when I relate how I am to others but there is really no strong reaction or rebellion in me except when I see injustice in certain concepts, especially when this injustice invades my existence. I do not see myself as unconventional in any way because to me how I am is actually what the natural flow of things decide and how I see the way a lot of other people are looks frequently to be patterned to a ritualistic and meaningless self-imposed mode of behaviour.<br /><br />As a child whenever I appeared to be different or express differing thoughts from the norm, it was stamped out immediately by my mother. It was extremely suffocating especially since she was such a neurotic and over-controlling character. She would bother about everything regarding how I do my hair, what I wear, what I eat blarr... to the bloodiest, deepest end. And I could feel that every bit of me was being changed to suit her likes and dislikes. I could not even decorate my room in the way I would like to express myself.<br /><br />I have always had a lot to express and methods of doing so. I loved to sing. I loved to write, to dance, to explore the mind in discussions. Singing she never hindered me. The few times that she did, I was stunned for an instant because a lot of the time I don't realise I was even singing, but then I will make myself disregard the interruption and just continue singing again. I think she didn't stop me much because she enjoyed that I could sing and she did like hearing me sing. Writing she could not stop me. How do you stop something like that? And it was my saving grace in school. My love for language and the prowess I showed in it was the only reason I could do well without putting effort into the education process. She did read my diaries and letters and other stuff though but I wasn't put off enough to change the content of my expressive writings much. I really needed the expressions I held dear, because everything else was so darn suppressed.<br /><br />And in that suppression and that lack of appreciation for my character, my life outside was thus affected. Although I did use the world outside my home as another outlet to escape the prison that was my home, because of the lack of acceptance of my Self at home, I was unable to be entirely confident and accepting of myself outside. Thus whenever I meet a new person although I do begin by happily being comfortable and myself and all that but the moment I notice any discomfort in the other, I will start becoming more and more accomodating till I am an entire other person. And at home the lies begin to build up more and more into an entire fantasy story.<br /><br />I actually hate lying, so as far as possible I will make the lie as close to the truth - right to the point it is just barely acceptable to my mother. It is a lot of weighing on my part on not compromising myself too much and accomodation to my mother. Because having to lie is compromising who I am - that I have to change myself. It is not healthy to my sense of self. And perhaps for others telling everyday lies might be pretty much a normal part of communication, I actually get rather ticked off by the whole idea as that part of me that enjoys sorting out the bias in things realises the lie is to allow the other and the masses' perceptive world to be untarnished and kept intact. And in turn, my world of personal splendour and beautiful concepts will be smaller and possibly could become lost.<br /><br />Well anyway, this could not go on forever. My alternate lifestyle would come to surface sooner or later and a few days before my 27th birthday everything came to a boiling point. And honestly if I didn't have Isaac as a soulmate and fellow explorer, perhaps I would have caved in to the overpowering external energies and never have brought any action to my beliefs which would have deemed me empty and jaded in life although with nothing to expose to my parents thus no problem now. I am glad that I made the decisions that I did impartially and never allowed the influence of my parents to come into play. I really adore the life I have been living since we have come together and I am full of enthusiasm, direction and love for everything... then the wisdom and the learnings ventured... I am so blessed.<br /><br />Isaac was like a symbollic reminder of the biggest wall I have put up. I have been escaping from the reality of the situation long enough. The way I want to live is simply too difficult for my mother to accept and I know it and have been pretending when I am with her that I am not that persona, and when I am not with her that she is ok with the persona. If there wasn't symbollic Isaac, I do not know how long I would have continued being two-faced with myself and my family life. But then if there wasn't Isaac, there would be something else that I would have to face up to in the end, because I have never given in to being the person my mother wants me to be when I am alone anyhow.<br /><br />And so she found out I am with a guy of another race. A race she has condemned to be con-artists and irritants and dirty and disgusting. And every bit of her racist dreg I am meant to agree with so as to prove my filial piety! I am so much the anti-thesis of the racist person, or the anything-cist person whatever the fuck that this repells me absolutely. I rarely notice the skin colour of the person in terms of them being another fucking species altogether and I always get shocked by the discrimination some people think they have the right to express just because they are the majority race in a particular place, and then getting all righteous and indignant when they are treated the same elsewhere. Worse is when they start feeling dignified about their sweeping statements about an entire race of people, missing out individualism altogether and with that very reason that they themselves were discriminated against by that race in a rare situation when they were the minority.<br /><br />Truth is I am very ashamed of her. I want to be brutally honest with myself today. However how I am going to approach this is to accept her as she is and also to be patient with guiding her in this matter, so I am first trying to stop being affected by her so very very much so as to be a calmer self with her. This is extremely difficult because she is quite a tyrant in her ways and I spent a lot of my childhood being fearful of being hit and till I was quite old I was still receiving blows every now and again. There was once she even threw something really heavy at my forehead. Despite what she thinks, I am actually seriously afraid of her.<br /><br />It's just that I do not back down. I do not want to be cowered into doing her will. It's weak to be like that and I do not want to be weak. And the last thing left is to expose the remaining lies that I HAVE to tell because when I told her the truth, she refused to listen. And started slapping me everywhere violently and there was no compromise from her side ever but the only option given was her way or none at all. I have planned the revealing of certain parts of my life at strategic ages because the younger I am the more power she has over me and if I had told her about Isaac when I was 21 and we were only a year into the relationship, she would have used very drastic measures to totally stop us from being together. I valued my freedom and I wanted our relationship to progress without the bias of this interruption. Most of all, it was very clear to the both of us that what we have was very rare and should be treasured dearly.<br /><br />It's reunion dinner day tomorrow. It will be the first reunion dinner that I will not be with my family. I will miss them but I have to make my stand. This is the only way. I have to disengage myself from them till I am ready in a lot of areas. I suspect Isaac is psychologically rather stressed about the matter as well and its horrible that he has to be put through such heavy discrimination when as my other half he should be cared for and loved by my parents as well. Imagine being unable to show yourself to your other half's family because of your skin colour. It's a horrible, horrible predicament. Colour is not anything you can improve or change and it's actually something you should unconditionally love about yourself. And I am sure that since on his own he's already so despised and disliked by them, he wants to meet them only when we are more stable and financially set so that they wouldn't dismiss him as some half-fucked Indian guy and thus feel really lousy about himself.<br /><br />I don't understand and I don't want to understand these racist people. The Indian culture is intense yes... its full of colour, full of intoxicating incense, full of visually stimulating gods and a people who act with passion and intensity. Yet it is another culture of people after all... of course they are different. Their culture's beauty can only be understood if you are able to understand. But then again, why should anyone under the racially Indian umbrella be totally associated with the culture? I am racially Chinese and I do not think of myself as Chinese most of the time except to write on the info sheet when I do need to fill that in. Isaac and I question every tradition and live spiritually in the world we have created. This same beautiful world that we both share and only we understand. We saw this in each other from the start and we've been through so much together and yet nothing could even be remotely said to be a test of relationship. We have just merged into one and have faced life together ever since, learning from each other and making our dreams and world materialise bit by bit.<br /><br />Yes, it is time. I need to make my stand. And be firm. Be strong.<br /><br />An advance Happy New Year to anyone who follows the Lunar Calendar.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxXVeGedDuZtsx-nWAgoLdJJgb8d95nRGXtmperpOOF5ewLsxgRDacmFILibsgjct5O3N6JdQXJ4Ned7bMl2Jat-PhyKaCyXT6nJwFNy5sECDqHm7_cUpZZCbuPRB3YIQq8_4AqPy8lSc/s1600-h/Love+Connection.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 225px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxXVeGedDuZtsx-nWAgoLdJJgb8d95nRGXtmperpOOF5ewLsxgRDacmFILibsgjct5O3N6JdQXJ4Ned7bMl2Jat-PhyKaCyXT6nJwFNy5sECDqHm7_cUpZZCbuPRB3YIQq8_4AqPy8lSc/s400/Love+Connection.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5294984065267452114" /></a>Celestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-90533660710374210692009-01-13T21:36:00.009+08:002009-01-15T20:24:26.773+08:00LoveThe interconnectivity of all that exists<br />A divine energy living in the subconscious<br />Perhaps the myth of Mother Earth explained<br />Dramatised, romanticised and so thus simplified<br />Peaking in the sexual nature of creation.<br /><br />We think love is something that can be manipulated<br />That it could transform to hate, <br />That it could diminish or increase<br />But that is a concept tainted by the ego, <br />By moods, by circumstance and by logic.<br />Universal love is the only meaning to love<br />The invisible viscosity that binds everything together.<br /><br />Relationships often over-glorify the sacred word<br />When you appreciate, understand, love, you connect.<br />And so your mind plugs in to the workings of the universe<br />But your soul has always been there. It is part and the same.<br />Yet this recognition makes you stronger<br />This knowledge of your cosmic bigger self<br />And then there are those rare beautiful connections<br />And as the inner potential begins to open up one by one<br />Genius, inspiration & action spill forth<br /><br />We can only begin to understand what love is with wisdom<br />Yet within our instincts we already know<br />The simplest man as the wisest man<br />Living by the knowledge that all is known<br />And the more we know, the more we not know.<br /><br />Love is the space between<br />Love is the smile exchanged<br />Love is the kiss of life<br />Love is the consumation of two<br />Love is quintessentially YOU<br /><br /><a href="http://www.usbible.com/Astrology/milky_way.gif"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 484px; height: 340px;" src="http://www.usbible.com/Astrology/milky_way.gif" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />We are all part of the universe, and we are the only thing we know god to be. The beginning and the end.Celestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-57928283294401003862009-01-01T08:56:00.011+08:002009-01-04T05:40:45.214+08:00...It seems ironic that after writing to discard 'self-doubt' on that meditation sheet, I am now swimming against waves of endless self-doubt after self-doubt. Knowing what wisdom is isn't providing much movement in terms of physical actions. The problem lying on the analytical abuse of meaningful things, extremity entering so subtly that once observable, we understand how much baggage we have actually imposed upon our instincts.<br /><br />It's one thing to analyse the ins and the outs of what instincts mean and contain, it's another to pick it to pieces and label it before using it. It is the human condition after all and should only be studied fully together. Spiritual studies done the other way around where studying it comes first then if it makes sense - apply, only confuses matters with its focus swung into the wrong space.<br /><br />Self-doubt is the product of the ego. If the ego was non-existent, every little journey will not be qualified and contained within those small unimportant details of self-doubting self-indulgence. Everything just leads to another learning process to another more beautiful existence to a greater, greater self. There's no beating yourself up for the mistakes that you make because you understand yourself and you understand why you made them. There's no perverse endless cycles of <em>selfdoubt rushing in - beating up oneself - selfdoubt about the selfdoubts - beating oneself up again - selfdoubts about the beating up of oneself - beating up oneself yet again</em>...<br /><br />In that wisdom of truth, there is only light, the darkness always gets pushed behind once it becomes the darkness, and the newfound light is always in front. This light isn't optismism, it isn't hope, it doesn't signify new phases or change. It is the rebirthing process of knowledge, the knowledge that is in the ether and everywhere. The dimming of the light represents the absorption of the understanding deep into the soul and the new light - the new soul that emerges, fresh and yet old, so timeless in essence bringing with it all the ages that have lived in you and the final state of you now.<br /><br />In this moment, I have exhausted myself to perfection and require the rest enough to recharge, but since I cannot do so at this time, I am in that place where the mind is so unable to connect with the heart to find meaning, I am in the 'lullaby' zone - half-asleep, half-awake yet it's not a state of slowness really, or daydreaming. What it is is actually a meditative point of rest the vulnerability of which, opens portals to higher potentiality. The body enforces this over the mind when the desire to stay awake is stronger than the body's silent voice. It forces this meditative dreamstate for rest to touch the body. And the essence of yourself becomes louder as you recognise how connected you are, but you already knew. Just as you know all things.<br /><br />Trust. Your innate intelligence. If we don't over-think, we always know. Our thoughts tend to develop from the all-knowing, all-accepting wisdom to a comparative, relative, measurement. In this drift, comparisons will be missing the point altogether. Worlds can be found just in the appreciation of one being, an individualistic expreience. It makes no sense to find deviations and lines between two individuals because you will be missing out on the dimentiality of each item, each subject, each single existence. They are meant to be art pieces, studied, felt - expressed.<br /><br />It is still enlightening and so much a part of being a seeker though to dissect characters & situations etc, like how we do for literature texts, and see the workings of human flaws and structures. It teaches so much, makes you horribly indignant about the inconsistency of society's thoughts and actions and thus love life all the more terribly because it is just so wonderfully intricate and complex. Yet in this sense it works because it is done to answer specific questions that all lead up to one bigger point of understanding thus, a separate topic from that of the individual's art piece of itself. And an individual piece itself.<br /><br />I think my answer lies in leaving things be. I have to start doing that some time. I am missing out on the show... this fantastical show of life.<br /><br />...<br /><br /><br />"Being never develops. Being simply is. There is no evolution, there is no time involved in it. It is eternity, it is not "becoming." Spiritually, you never develop; you cannot. As far as the ultimate goal is concerned, you are already there. You have never been anywhere else." <br /> - OshoCelestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-62417932280800129332008-11-29T15:52:00.005+08:002008-12-29T16:48:08.244+08:00City of Ember - A Review(This is my reflection of the fantasy's concept so I am not particularly analysing the book nor the film in its art form.)<br /><br />The idea isn't new. That humankind is in mortal danger from some form of great disaster and have to flee to an underground region for safety. It's the emotion of fear in the entrapment of darkness that is developed to a certain degree and fresh here.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://pagenumbered.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/coe_photo1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 1010px; height: 758px;" src="http://pagenumbered.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/coe_photo1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />The last surviving people on earth have only seen the underground city the original builders created more than 200 years ago. They have no knowledge about where they are in relation to the planet and their only source of light is generated by electricity which has been increasingly faulty as the years went by. As the blackouts get more frequent and the time spent waiting in the darkness became more and more unbearable, the quintessential questions of survival are revived and we see how the old, the young, the jaded, and those that are stuck in an endless monotony without any desire or motive to change - we see how they handle the dire situation, internally and externally. Then there are those who cling on to a comatosed yet happy world of song and religious togetherness. They seem outside of the mess, in an alternate state, but instead of being truly delivered from the material aspect of life, they simply appear zombiefied and entirely out of point. There is insanity in their total lack of coherence for the reality that is unfolding sturdily into the minds of all and the depth of the fear they are showing (by not showing) must be so immeasureable that they have to escape into such profound opposite to extremity.<br /><br />It is the two protagonists that keep humankind in check. They are focused on finding a way out of the eternal condemnation to darkness and as they keep on moving with hearts aflamed with that desire, they eventually solved the seemingly unsolveable problem. And these are strong personalities, diffusing a father who is jaded yet brilliant and imposes his fears & negativity unto his son. The love for his father, the respect for their similar brand of genius, the regret for his loss in contribution to the society and the frustration with his insecurities and lost of hope - these influences could have been a distraction for that bright boy alight with a beautiful fire inside him, but he kept his head and his dream and pushed on. The girl left alone with her baby sister and a grandma who became mentally ill had so much on her shoulders and still kept that youthful exuberance and positivity which requires so much strength and will. Along with that was the sad memory of her parents as shown when she played back the recording of her parents' voices for her little sister everynight for her to sleep, and the underlying curiosity and mystery of the circumstances surrounding their demise.<br /><br />The fantasy element and colour in the movie also gave height to the experience of the film. It injected humour in its own way to help us look at the situation in an objective yet clear manner, standing as the third person only so very involved - intrigued.<br /><br />All in all, wonderfully done and suitable for all ages. Not everyone would be as in love with it. It depends on how much you enjoy grounding yourself and how much you enjoy flight. Go watch and decide.Celestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-28867601852190238632008-11-01T17:15:00.002+08:002008-12-09T23:45:53.895+08:00Where's My Center?~The center is the place where you are immensely in love with yourself. And you are a part of the ether, and you are the ether.~<br /><br />I need to fulfill my dreams. I have to do what I say and create my world with my magical wand. My magic must be done. No matter what happens - even if the sky crashes down and the cows graze on the other side of the atmosphere - I have to do this very thing!<br /><br />This does not mean I will have to burn down my village, kill all my loved ones and smother their dreams if that is required to get my way. It means I will find a way no matter what, albeit other alternatives if others have to be sacrificed. But why am I even musing about this? I do not have the practice of creating my happiness in the expense of others. But, I do have a strong guilt complex. And the happier I am, the more I feel guilty on a subconscious level.<br /><br />This has to go.<br /><br />There is not space in the course of an action plan to be weighed down by irrational guilt. It is a deceivingly small stone that accumulates debris quickly enough into a large boulder. It is psychological warfare within myself. The largest obstacle to becoming the best of myself. It distracts the centering force that could be honed, and thus blurs the mind. It is the bane of all banes.<br /><br />The center is the place where I am immensely in love with myself. Guilt and self-blame destroys that holy ground. It ruins the connection I have with the ether and prevents me from expanding further into one with the universe. The trappings of self-imposed emotional prisons are psychotic episodes of deep lull yet in the climax of this great bubble of feeling, creativity abounds - as such is the power of the human mind and spirit. Yet it is only the first few prisons that produces genius. If rebirth does not occur subsequently, it is just a robotic chain of meaninglessness.<br /><br />The longer I remain in the center, the easier it is not to guilt and blame the Self. I will see that everything was done as it had to be done in that space and time. And sometimes an expected result occur and sometimes an unexpected one does. Life is a cinematic adventure to watch, to observe and to learn. And the only emotions that are true here is the one of interest, of delight, of splendour, of sympathy, of understanding, of joy... of love. All culminating together in one big celebratory dance of pure living.<br /><br />I have to root myself down to my center. And stay there forever and ever.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF5sM1eg9RJ6A396alJYhjhIhAX8c3iX8ZgTBcq31Qs9f_LiqtHt_MD2suiAZBs0aHCSCqIkA-Fa6cwGVjq7X92JnuyUD9_-jurkRFO_8Sa2KkH5SGy9ezBKASgBxhQ7i7eTkYCUXw5ec/s1600-h/KL.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF5sM1eg9RJ6A396alJYhjhIhAX8c3iX8ZgTBcq31Qs9f_LiqtHt_MD2suiAZBs0aHCSCqIkA-Fa6cwGVjq7X92JnuyUD9_-jurkRFO_8Sa2KkH5SGy9ezBKASgBxhQ7i7eTkYCUXw5ec/s400/KL.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277816973772695394" /></a>Celestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-35185908398572132402008-07-23T17:11:00.007+08:002008-08-18T00:44:48.785+08:00Inside the Mind of the Mind<div>When clarity escapes us in whatever degree, do we yearn for it, search for it or do we just bask darkly in the haze that surrounds us, sadistically embracing the emotions that lie in that negative state. Perhaps it is the search that caused such perverse internal debauchery. Maybe in the over-thought of desiring clarity, clarity is lost.<br /><br />Over-thought - the biggest bane in my life. If at all my hopes and dreams are dashed there can be no other reason but this. The paralysis of over-analysis. I must be the worst of all over-thinkers. The most dramatic victim of the source of self-doubt and self-question. The instinctive flows of my talents has one by one collapsed into nothingness as though it has never existed for me.<br /><br />For talent requires deep confidence and a full self. It is performed in a long, deep breath, without interruption from the heart that isn't still, the opinions of others or any neurotically enforced patterned behaviour. Systems can only abolish the genius in things when it is enforced to reduce thinking but in reality, systems of this manner are just products of over-thought and thus do not work at all. If true genius is in play, there is no energy spent in over-thought but everything will flow beautifully without slaving away at all.<br /><br />I say this like it is such an easy concept to practice and it is, but when consistency and reguliarity comes into play that is when it stumps me. How does one do something so special day in and out without over-complicating its naturality? I want to achieve this. I want to be this. I want to be in form perpetually and so I need to unlock its secrets. I need to be able to look at something from its freshest angle over and over again. I cannot be jaded, or tired or distracted in any way. I have to be consumed with love for the thing. And like how I never ruin the enjoyments I love most with excess, I should respect my talents in the very same way. But of course I will not willingly destroy art into addiction. The first time it ever happened was because it became a job and I HAD to do it repeatedly. Otherwise it will only be inspiration and expression that blew me its way. And for a long while inspiration was never a problem, until this issue I am whining about came into being - analysis paralysis. And then there was no longer any semblance of true inspiration and I was left only with that weird patterned behaviour.<br /><br />Look at this piece of writing. It began in five lines to five lines and then I started to really write or did I? It is scary to be jailed in that strange place where nothing makes sense and everything looks to be moving in a robotic fashion. Fear is deeply alive in here. But I have to work this place out. I have to work it out IN HERE. I have to tackle the beast within the beast so as to come out truly victorious and unafraid no more.<br /><br />Whatever the answer is, it has to keep the love for the talents beating strong. It has to fend off all negative emotions by filling the spaces with positive breathing ones. How do I not sink into the depressions of my problems when my inner core is so damaged I have to fight to keep the love for what I thought so personally mine it will never be at risk?<br /><br />Silence please, my oh my raging mind. Please quieten down. I'm afraid of your endless movements. I have no clue what to do. I think the main problem is that I am not honest with myself. Not thorough with whatever I am feeling. I should acknowledge my excitements, my nervousness, my worries, my joys and all my swallowed emotions. Because only once I do that can I clearly remove it or use it in my system. If I do not acknowledge its existence, I could only be holding a mess of its reality and the reality I desire. Which will never be any state of clarity.<br /><br />It is clarity which will give me all of the heart and the mind's brain power. The colundrum of the two beating as one. And the two at balance will give me clarity. A paradox that is as simple as breathing in and out, and as easily messed up as when breathing is over-watched, over-thought. <br /><br />(Ok, the thought of over-thinking breathing puts me in a smothering and deeply silent paranoia which is too scary to face, so let's stop here.)</div><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb6c51hiHOB3C4GjDyAWiOEufNb3hvdnz0c_-xt4xAMrVQG0bEyC5UoARoqSz3vIpINzubSeO30qVST9j5vAswST4LSuvMlk-7M-j5aR7vBinbvgUs07tRiMCnNWR73jvnABaPu2YVdU4/s1600-h/n590846551_479270_4316.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5228307232882353570" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb6c51hiHOB3C4GjDyAWiOEufNb3hvdnz0c_-xt4xAMrVQG0bEyC5UoARoqSz3vIpINzubSeO30qVST9j5vAswST4LSuvMlk-7M-j5aR7vBinbvgUs07tRiMCnNWR73jvnABaPu2YVdU4/s400/n590846551_479270_4316.jpg" border="0" /></a>Celestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-22368252012716574102008-03-22T03:33:00.008+08:002008-08-18T01:53:14.350+08:00In Between the Dark & LightIn between the dark and light is fear.<br /><br />numbing, crazy sensation that stems from an irrational place<br />it overwhelms you, drowns you in a mist of strangeness<br /><br />yet in everything there must be balance,<br />so the lack of it explains the fear<br /><br />in any moment of self-doubt or self-dislike,<br />the irrational culturedly phases in, in sharp pokes<br /><br />and then again it is only a snap of the fingers away,<br />this difference of dark and light.<br /><br />In between the dark and light is fear.<br /><br />this fear creeps into the guilty part of yourself<br />and have you cry into the corners of your mind<br />wondering and alarmed, scattered and afraid.<br /><br />if you could only calm that part of yourself down<br />you would be like anybody else,<br />safe, sheltered, unharmed<br />but are there such persons at all?<br /><br />we are madly lost in the sorrows of war.<br />our primitive instinct creeping up like the way fear does<br />our inner groove lost in this deepening sorrow<br /><br />where its safe and untouched by dirty hands<br />the inner city of tranquility and hereby:<br />excitement uncontained and quiet familiarity of the unknown<br />unknown no longer a source of fear (irration)<br /><br />In between the dark and light is fear.<br /><br />-Written between the slumbers and the cigarette cocktail-<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiea4Lot9UO76zx3_jq2kpHd24biblJxKc-_2xtW7mpW5jn7UALQep0AzKU0fyvxNfT7oKMYqUHiTlYJuGX0yg7IOlt0l-vR9XV3Axgo7aabbJZhh1CGaJsOsck0T1dnTnO4ZSdA-Jc0EQ/s1600-h/48715_marijuana_plants_growing_outdo.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiea4Lot9UO76zx3_jq2kpHd24biblJxKc-_2xtW7mpW5jn7UALQep0AzKU0fyvxNfT7oKMYqUHiTlYJuGX0yg7IOlt0l-vR9XV3Axgo7aabbJZhh1CGaJsOsck0T1dnTnO4ZSdA-Jc0EQ/s400/48715_marijuana_plants_growing_outdo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5228314948187057186" /></a>Celestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-36831111556842284982008-02-25T16:35:00.009+08:002008-03-03T16:14:57.789+08:00The WindsThere is that indescribable energy that coexists with and within us all, dancing around the bend and appearing a quantum leap away sometimes. You must wait for it, prepare for it, smile at it, play with it so as to be able to find yourself standing at that magical place where everything is of the same perspective as everything else. You can never plan something totally forgetting it because your goals will not be reached at all whereas if you plan something completely respecting this energy, your goals will be met and more. This energy exists like how the wind is among us, moving things, breathing life, spilling magic. You must be at one with it to enjoy it, to enjoy life, to experience fully. If you see it as something to break free from you will have lost the point altogether yet those who do not even know of its existence are worser off as they would be thoroughly lost in ignorance.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.solarviews.com/raw/craft/winds.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://www.solarviews.com/raw/craft/winds.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />This wind cannot be in the focus nor in the background. It cannot be analysed nor forgotten. It must be placed in perfect harmony with your decisions, your movements or else it will destroy every moment. This seems tricky but is actually simple because simplicity is the key to getting this right. Here is the actual tricky part: the winds of others. Some people are stormy, destructive winds for others and some people are calming and inspirational winds for some. It is the same theory but more emotional here because your own energy might be read wrongly by others when it should not be read at all. Once that happens and ego sets in, your grasp on the windy movements will be disrupted and your bearing and demeanour will undergo a change in substratum where the focus of everything moves around the hurt or frustration that is caused by the disalignment of the two winds.<br /><br /><a href="http://science.nationalgeographic.com/staticfiles/NGS/Shared/StaticFiles/Science/Images/Promotional/GPN-2000-001983-tn.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://science.nationalgeographic.com/staticfiles/NGS/Shared/StaticFiles/Science/Images/Promotional/GPN-2000-001983-tn.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />With the energy that circulates the entire of existence I can remove my ego from it. I can take its hand and jump around in gleeful merriment. I know it does not judge me nor find judgement of any importance in living. It sees me and even if it doesn't, I know it sees itself. And somehow in that knowledge, it does not matter anymore because all I wanted was the truth. The truth of balanced thought over the truth of the limited circumstance. It is the winds of people that I am most fearful of. The evil that can be stormed up in an instance of insecure weakness. The thoughts and impressions that can be set for a lifetime due to an idealistic method of creating the world. Yet the vulnerability that lies within their hearts is what most breaks me for it can open itself so achingly to the enemy, using blood to draw him in, and then in one orgasmic release, shatter every bone in the enemy's body.<br /><br /><a href="http://customize.org/thumbnails/large/5258.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://customize.org/thumbnails/large/5258.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />Most people might think it easier to handle the winds of others. I find it tough because the moment I embrace their energies I lose sight of the focus. Being sympathetic towards their cause might sacrifice my perfect self, and thus the inequality expels my friendship with the all-prevailing wind. For them who find it easier to manipulate the winds of people, theirs is no less unequal for the conceited self presides over the hearts of others. Anything can only become equal when there's any third item to the pair. Both focused on something else like a project or a thought. <br /><br /><a href="http://www.kouroshdini.com/images/meditation.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://www.kouroshdini.com/images/meditation.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />Over all, I see that being strictly meditative and centered will mean to keep the focus as the vision, the method at the forefront, the camaraderie for the moments and music in the background. And that is how I shall keep my winds friendly all around. :)Celestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-56175908619714471252008-01-20T13:43:00.000+08:002008-01-20T14:08:58.726+08:00The Healing Immersion of the Present 2008<div>The healing immersion of the present</div><div>Cleanses the emotion of the past</div><div>Creates episodes in memory</div><div>Beautiful and complex</div><div>Monumented in our minds</div><div>Detached from our souls</div><div><br /></div><div>The healing immersion of the present</div><div>Purifies the worry of the future</div><div>Lets it come as it will</div><div>Enjoys the unknown, unbiased</div><div>Structures plans and ideas</div><div>All ready for embarkment or evolvement</div><div><br /></div><div>The healing immersion of the present</div><div>Allows you to feel the entirety of the now</div><div>Gets you in the funk of it all</div><div>Creativity and imagination totally lived</div><div>This is the only way there can be no regret</div><div>For there is nothing unfelt, unthought or undone</div><div><br /></div><div>We are the observers of the magical chaotic order</div><div>A part of the cosmic experience</div><div>We are the intelligent emotional energy</div><div>That exist with the rest of the universe</div><div><br /></div><div>Yesterday's pain shall be yesterday's beauty</div><div>Tomorrow's stress shall be tomorrow's to decide</div><div><br /></div><div>Today's pizazz shall be today's pizazz...</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">~The colourful mounting of curious winds to commemorate the day I was born. To be born again is the best thing to learn and relearn this year.~</div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_XsaQMhJyKFdJX-Iar6gSEzx76i4g59CMmFd8ySOsQuOvssWVG6-0LokWRZ1ushBwmNvfggnptGvFgMWFpGCLBeGzYJxaNwtbDD6c9S9Y62xpORVCQUgKuz9gL8tzE2tUcqijgt8DuBU/s1600-h/Moi.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_XsaQMhJyKFdJX-Iar6gSEzx76i4g59CMmFd8ySOsQuOvssWVG6-0LokWRZ1ushBwmNvfggnptGvFgMWFpGCLBeGzYJxaNwtbDD6c9S9Y62xpORVCQUgKuz9gL8tzE2tUcqijgt8DuBU/s320/Moi.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5157436607760353186" /></a>Celestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-49533843920145915882007-12-15T16:56:00.000+08:002007-12-27T15:52:56.870+08:00The Colors of Friendship (Badge/Award)<div align="center"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtdvCaHp1km5OpyvieoR-9P5YBX0uAC2EyHQzLrQVhdLj8KaBVFJ3iTefGCT7M7ITNyvqb8jJGdy0a5MYdNgkD8NzcK9EtGwcqomI-FG9h5I0XhWAWosVBQKcISAsdsleA_LQXaLCzHQA/s1600-h/the-colors-of-friendship-badge.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5144123222755035026" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: pointer; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtdvCaHp1km5OpyvieoR-9P5YBX0uAC2EyHQzLrQVhdLj8KaBVFJ3iTefGCT7M7ITNyvqb8jJGdy0a5MYdNgkD8NzcK9EtGwcqomI-FG9h5I0XhWAWosVBQKcISAsdsleA_LQXaLCzHQA/s400/the-colors-of-friendship-badge.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: center">- <a href="http://bindingink3.blogspot.com/2007/12/colors-of-friendship-badge.html">The Colors of Friendship Badge</a>, gifted by <a href="http://bindingink.blogspot.com/">ndpthepoetress</a> - the owner of a beautiful blogsite dedicated to the creativity of writing and the mind.<br /><br />I am to pass this token of friendship on to five deserving friends in the blogosphere so here goes: </div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"><ol><li><a href="http://getmeback.blogspot.com/">Jim</a></li><br /><li><a href="http://reddirtpoetry07.blogspot.com/">Red Dirt Scribbler</a></li><br /><li><a href="http://absolutevanilla.blogspot.com/">Absolute Vanilla</a></li><br /><li><a href="http://moonbeams8.blogspot.com/">Goatman</a></li><br /><li><a href="http://princesshaiku.blogspot.com/">Princess Haiku</a> </li></ol></div><p align="center">These are all bloggers whom I feel have that special sparkle of life, intensely in tuned with that magical something that exists between the heart and the mind.</p>***<br /><br />Friendship to me happens when a spiritual connection is formed between two parties. This could be a thought unsaid but shared about something you each understood separately but intricately. This could also be conversation after conversation that is so well woven together that it brings you to new heights of discovery.<br /><br /></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">Nevertheless, this friendship can only become stronger length wise if both parties trust each other. This trust is the belief in the other's ability to make his or her own decision and then the knowledge that whatever they chose to do is the best they can do around their circumstance at each given time. Friends see the enormous potential in each other but understand and love who you are right now as well. This love is the all-encompassing one non-judgmental of what is right and wrong but sees the individuality and flexibility of character. In fact, the word 'character' does not exist for it seeks to define what does not need to be. We can be anything and true friends see that. Basically this all means that within true friendships self-righteousness cannot persist.<br /><br /></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">More often than not when we think to confide in someone, hoping to share an emotion so as to connect on a deeper level, the response tend to come in advice of "shoulds" and "should nots". The confidante has stepped into your shoes in attempt to be close, but then stepped away with the detached observations of unforgiving analysis. True closeness is not this disrespect to the journey of another's life. It is a connection with the emotion shared, a sensation felt completely, and then both persons let go of it together. No lingering thought about it that can build up to an assumption of the character of the sharing party. This is authentic closeness when people know how to share their lives without invasion.</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">~</div><br /><div align="center">There are many indications to me that I am constantly stressed and how deep-rooted this tension is. I grind my teeth while sleeping everyday, and when I am awake my jaw is clenched down. I play with my nails incessantly and so they are pretty sensitive and break easily. When I talk to people I am generally hyperactive and nervous, and show this either by talking too much or talking too little (usually the first). And I am all of this despite being very conscious of how happy I am with my life.</div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center">I am totally in love with my life. I am living my dreams and moving forward all the time, and there are many gifts bestowed upon me that so many people take a lifetime to find. I have found the perfect other half whose very presence unveiled a greater reality to me. As an employee I have had the most amazing job becoming the editor of a creative magazine having a large say in the philosophical topics to express. As an employer I am slowly but surely forming system after system and it is so exciting and real that I am awfully glad I made this brave step in my life. I am just absolutely thrilled with all the things I have planned to do and have learnt and am still learning.</div><br /><div align="center"></div><div align="center">So why in spite of all my happiness, my subconscious is still grinding and picking at my nerves?<br /><br /></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">I began a wild child, constantly questioning things around me, unwilling to accept the norm to be the easy truth. I did what I wanted to do, felt a lot for everything and watched it all. And my independence was as constantly being watched and stamped out by an overly anxious mother. When I hooked one leg over the other at a young age, she told me accusingly not to do that as I looked vain. Whatever I chose to wear she would overeactively nitpick over it and most times I would have to return to my room to change out of my outfit feeling a sense of shame at my proposed vainness. Yet it took a long while for me to back down. When she told me what a girl should or should not do, I demanded a good reason as to why there should be these differences all steeped in limiting me. We argued and fought incessantly for a long, long time. And truth be told I do not remember a single affectionate moment shared between us during my childhood. All I can recall is a cloud of depressing suppression that smothered me, a sensation that I understood but could not define at that age.<br /><br /></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">As I grew older I got tired of fighting as my mother would not let up at all. Her way, her laws and her life was to be as she wanted it to be, and that included how I behaved, how I thought and how I am. There was no room for meeting in the middle. It was her way or none at all. One day, I decided once and for all that I did not want this unhappiness to continue. When I yielded it was in love for her, in love of peace and with the desire to grow, for the monotony was eating into me, but that moment was the moment I lost my wild fiery self. </div><div align="center"><br /></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">Already I was becoming a nervous child, consistently second guessing myself and making mistakes because of that, and then going into a mood berating myself and the mess that I am because of the whole confusion of action. It was hard not to be like that when my movements are so watched and judged and corrected. It was difficult to make decisions firmly unafraid to fail. I knew my real self was fearless and in events where mistakes occurred outside of my mother's reach I used it to my advantage. However, as time went along and she usurped every space in my free willing spirit, I no longer had this private decision making space, for even there I hear her invading voice.<br /><br /></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">And today, even when I am filled with happiness and empowered by my own independant lifestyle, there exists this creeping feeling of worry that comes over me every second that it gets too quiet. The now enlarged sense that everything that I have built my life up to could have been a huge, devastating mistake and when I finally realise it, it would be too late, would have me sink, sink, sink into the great dark abyss of endless misery whenever I allow this suspicion to envelope me. No matter how ridiculous this might sound to my rational mind, it takes awhile to get rid of the feeling to come to that rational place. After that the whole sickening notion of why I am still at this state when I have already traveled so far in learning about the transient nature of life will overwhelm and leave me gasping for some form of saving grace. It is just that repetitive cycle of self-doubt and nothingness. </div><div align="center"><br /></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">I am still struggling to get rid of this childhood bane. But I have only just discovered it. I only got here because I have finally reached the point where action has shown itself to be the trusting of instincts and I saw that my instincts are covered up by this flurrying nervous energy. And then I connected my tensed teeth-grinding and nail picking. And then I saw how etched in this inner tension was. And so I studied the history of how it came about. But now lies the question:<br /><br /></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">How do I get rid of this unnecessary and senseless stress once and for all?</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">~</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">How I have defined a true friendship is what all relationships should be. The base of any relationship <em>is</em> friendship. Trust and love, and all I have expressed of it. In view of this definition I can choose my friends accordingly but this could mean I could end up with no friends at all, for creating this kind of optimal relationship requires both to be in that mentality and first of all necessitates the understanding of what a relationship should be. Therefore cutting off friends who have not that outlook on friendship is not the answer, but perhaps my own living of that example could be.<br /><br /></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">With family it is even more so this way, for it is not a matter of choose and cut here at all. We cannot choose our family and we cannot cut our ties. And if only I live my example and let that reign over any other perception, I do not see why I should collapse into a state of tension any longer. As I become more trusting and loving, and naturally accepting that trusting and loving is the way it should be, subtly but surely that world would become realer and realer for me. Which is what is truly important. My reality. </div><div align="center"><br /></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">And so I would no longer shiver in a bundle of nervous worries, my sanity cracking as the minutes ticked by. I would be healed with each effort I put into creating my reality. Becoming more comfortable and relaxed as I spin my own web of fate. There is nothing to worry in this moment for I trust my family without needing to analyse, just by instinct and just by love. And I know that deep down inside they do trust and love me the way I know is perfect. Most of all, deep down inside I trust and love me. </div>Celestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-30744439104783102652007-11-15T17:53:00.000+08:002007-11-20T07:15:47.404+08:00Rest, rest.The restful babe slumbers on in the womb<br /><br />In the quiet stillness<br /><br />Its consciousness one with the rest of creation<br /><br />Yet the separate nuance of identity<br /><br />Forming and forming<br /><br />As the body prepares itself for birth.<br /><br />The activity, the excitement, the disturbance of experience<br /><br />Cultivates awareness of the external, of which so little is known.<br /><br />It responds with intense fear, wails at the top of its lungs - Born.<br /><br />Rest, rest little one...<br /><br />Fear is just the evolutionary signal to help us survive.<br /><br />We are beginning a new age now, and your peace will herald its coming.<br /><br />Our reign as the king lion should come to an end<br /><br />For we are nearly gods already<br /><br />Will soon be turning on each other<br /><br />If our savage selves allowed to exist without reason<br /><br />This path will only lead to total destruction of our kind.<br /><br />It is time to develop further<br /><br />Into a species no longer fleeing or frightened.<br /><br />That primitive response inbred in us not useful anymore<br /><br />Vestigial emotions that will be discarded<br /><br />But how long will it take?<br /><br />500 years for humankind to learn to return to our foetal depths?<br /><br />More?<br /><br />Will we last 500 years?<br /><br />If we do, will we then wake from the womb thirsting for knowledge<br /><br />Silent, observant and unafraid?<br /><br />Rest, rest, brothers and sisters...<br /><br />We are all the same.<br /><br />No more fighting and hiding<br /><br />We have so much work to do.<br /><br />There is so much to see and know,<br /><br />So much to love and feel.<br /><br /><br />Rest, rest...<br /><br />Let our spirits return to our foetal depths.<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ0IUaAf5Qr5ZynCBmdEkq-oY48QephyphenhyphenhvLtpCJoq0GtMU-TlhFXwle2Qk2OApvEfvGjVEfnGUTnI8GlYfIKU5rfCztwLrJ-Xs5zb1ZTfgp9nq-Gcoot99NYiboECSJcNsZtuZGFMJVX8/s1600-h/babe+security.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5133218569757305698" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ0IUaAf5Qr5ZynCBmdEkq-oY48QephyphenhyphenhvLtpCJoq0GtMU-TlhFXwle2Qk2OApvEfvGjVEfnGUTnI8GlYfIKU5rfCztwLrJ-Xs5zb1ZTfgp9nq-Gcoot99NYiboECSJcNsZtuZGFMJVX8/s400/babe+security.jpg" border="0" /></a> <p align="center"> </p><p align="center">***</p><p align="center"><a href="http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/453051/why_selfawareness_equates_to_the_knowledge.html">http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/453051/why_selfawareness_equates_to_the_knowledge.html</a></p>Celestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-43500784643099065342007-10-27T00:10:00.000+08:002007-11-12T23:20:18.550+08:00Bagged & Tagged (Labels in so many sense...)<div align="center"><br /><img src="http://images.similarminds.com/movie/7.jpg" /><br /><a href="http://similarminds.com/othertests.html">What Classic Movie Are You?</a><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><a href="http://similarminds.com/">personality tests by similarminds.com</a></span></div><br /><p align="center"><br /><br />-Tagged by Ghee<br />-Tagging J<a href="http://www.xanga.com/december9ine">annyfer</a>, K<a href="http://keshigirl.blogspot.com/">eshi</a>, S<a href="http://slchome.blogspot.com/">andy Carlson</a>.</p><br /><p align="center">_______________________________________________________</p><br /><p align="center">I am such a film buff, always excited about a fantastic time devouring a great movie. </p><p align="center">I love so many different kinds of movies - all from comedies, indie, book adaptations, horror and so on - but it must all be sincere expressive art pieces and not blockbusters dripping with the sweat of consumerism. Thoughts and screenplay steeped in the whoring of dead souls just wandering around for mindless entertainment. </p><p align="center">No, I am not into that. </p><p align="center">There is always what is a firm step to growth and productivity of the Self. And there is always that which brings us into a vicious cycle because it is unfocussed and unnecessary... excess in every way. The first one is the balanced point, and the second an extreme position (anything unbalanced is extreme). What is focussed and keeping the point centred is balanced. And what is sinking too much into anything is extreme. </p><p align="center">These certain blockbusters are extreme because instead of concentrating on what films are, an experience given by the collection of artists who created the flicks with the intention to share, express and connect... they arrange the movie around the marketable aspects catering to the majority to ensure a high movie rating and sales. </p><p align="center">Art becoming a business in this way is insincere and promotes insincerity. It does not benefit humankind in any way and is in fact detrimental. Art which truly is art, when it is so appreciated by the audience without needing such flossing and glossing would then truly reflect on the society as an enlightened, advanced collective consciousness. We do not allow ourselves the belief that we can be that as a species and we show this in our business tactics.</p><p align="center">I am thinking about business... about a company's need to maintain a good name or more exactly, its bondage to impressing others and the desire to have a widely accepted good opinion from others. </p><p align="center">I am thinking about the labelling and narrowing needed to be done in business... elements of which on a personal level I understand so well the process of which it came about, its reactionary and backwardness. Elements of which I seek to dissolve in myself as noted unnatural perverseness developed through a locked-on mindset of extremism in attempt to shield or decorate the ego.</p><p align="center">In every way I look at it, there seems to be no possible way to dissolve the heart of a business from 'impressive walls' or limiting views apparent in advertising strategies. A business exist to connect different groups of people together to generate monetary movement. It cannot be successful if it does not pay attention to keeping a good name and it will not be noticed if it does not employ the generic choices of the marketing team.</p><p align="center">And the whole process seems to me like robotic actions done without really agreeing but to fit part of the machinery cycle. Exactly why this coldness upsets me this much is that I attach it to who I am. If business is cold and I own the business, I am cold am I not? And if I am not, then I must be hypocritical.</p><p align="center">But yet there is something absolutely natural about it. In fact the business system is something totally efficient. And I am talking on a holistic scale regarding mankind on the whole. The market system undeniably comes together in a complexly beautiful way without needing manipulation from any overseeing source. In a sense, owning a business can be the smartest capitalistic way of dealing with survival issues as quickly as possible so as to then be able to drivenly spend the rest of our little time here on Earth exploring and experiencing the quintessential questions of life. After all, we should already be at that state of advanced self-awareness that knows such a great deal more than the majority of us now do. And I mean knowledge about the deepest mysteries. Of all that we don't know and should always seek to find out. And if we just focus on the point again, and never the runaround, we will be able to see what would be the fastest way to get the survival problem out of the way so as to give us space for the more important. Plus, wouldn't this business creation be a part of 'living' as well - creating and completing dreams? Better than zombie-ing around the corporate world blank-faced and sombrely hungering like the primitive animals after the largest piece of meat.</p><p align="center">Learning all there is to know, as much as we can, growing and growing... seems to me a better way to exist. Not working and working for our whole lives, having no meaning to living except to survive in stagnation. Business deals with that for us. It is the most intelligent way to obtain for us the means to truly freely enjoy this earth with all its beauty and magic. Religion has made it a sin for pursuing and owning wealth. This is illogical since there is wealth enough for everyone. This is also absurd because our natural way is to grow and there is nothing in us to stop us from earning more and more cash. Yes, we might have a problem with greed (excess/extremism) as we do with a lot of things for moderation is a level of wisdom that would take a thousand years for some, but we do not have the inclination to <strong>not</strong> try to earn more pennies except when fear comes in the way... and that is where the church comes in with its eternal damnation.</p><p align="center">***</p><p align="center">I have to learn to detach myself when I am dealing with business issues. It should always be an entire system I am looking at and not petty affairs of administrations. And not a single one of my decisions should define me as a person. Any quarrels, unhappiness or conflict should be looked at with the eye of spotting what is causing the flaw such that capitalism was not reached. The market system is the best model to look at in discussing why capitalism is the best position. It is the natural position and the winds all blow towards that direction. Everybody is happy in that situation... Balance yet again.</p><p align="center">I always look towards nature for knowledge. And in business, the market sytem is the ecosystem of knowledge.</p>Celestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-42572911451663097222007-10-12T21:56:00.000+08:002007-10-16T21:43:31.993+08:00Bulldozing the Wall DownSTORY<br /><br />Found a wall so strong and old<br />So strong and old it was overlooked<br />Set itself perfectly, comfortably<br />On a spot well covered up for ages<br /><br />So finally I saw the wall<br />Time to celebrate beauty that could be<br />Once the wall was broken, new possibilities procured<br />But the debris remained and became a new wall<br /><br />Cracked and absurd.<br />Confused and frustrated. <br /><br /><br />WALLS<br /><br />There are so many walls around<br />Always noticed, always found<br />But they're mostly yours, not mine<br />I took noticed but not so enough<br /><br />It seems to me year after year<br />I waited to find my wall<br />But why did I wait for mine<br />And searched for the walls of others?<br /><br />Detachment and understanding?<br />Hands dirty, hands clean.<br /><br /><br />MINE<br /><br />Created by model bricks of fearful red <br />Form some illusion of bright and fun<br />Its just an uneasy pile of stones<br />Cemented layer after layer with ego<br /><br />Sometimes the wall fails to function<br />Walls in other shapes and sizes<br />Paddle the intruding elements up and down<br />Long and hard creates a painful, gaping hole<br /><br />Hit by the ball to the quick,<br />Quick be quick in wall's constructive deception.<br /><br /><br />BULLDOZE<br />Ego<br /><br />Impressive walls have jealous scribbles upon it<br />Inspiring negativity as the instinctive mind always knows<br />Differentiating the stone from the flesh<br />Impressive 'flesh' has always beget impressive 'flesh'<br /><br />The need for acquiring acceptance and agreement<br />Conquers the need for painting truth, liberation<br />Impressive walls is the symbol of subjection<br />Impressive 'flesh' is the oxymoron of chance<br /><br />Subjugation to others/<br />Faithfulness to self<br /><br /><br />BULLDOZE<br />Uneasy<br /><br />Right from opening the front door<br />It's just me and what I think<br />Not you, not them, not invisible man<br />I can know but I cannot Care<br /><br />Caring is like giving out chains to keymasters<br />Caring about opinions in the labelling sense<br />What possible reason can justify Caring?<br />None but only to satisfy the ego's image<br /><br />Expression without ego =<br />Depiction of true precision<br /><br /><br />BULLDOZED<br /><br />My obligations, my duties, my choices dissected<br />More but discomforting, unnecessary<br />Love does not require sacrifice<br />Love is appreciation and understanding<br /><br />My comforts, my prerogatives procrastination dissolved<br />Never do more than you really want to do<br />Better than whining silently<br />Building up a hurricane of resent<br /><br />Your body sometimes know better<br />Your sacrifice sometimes harms others<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZI_BbK4h88hn0cHnBi_Y9PClWH-tIiOpq_FlLwqtm8f22KYQPFvI5mHF_MrQjLVaUKEnxT5sIzbIe46wHfVt0KhDHT8-4FyKFazW8WB9A5AsCxHuDACBAKvLwa71pRQmGXHFBze5kGws/s1600-h/Enlightenment.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZI_BbK4h88hn0cHnBi_Y9PClWH-tIiOpq_FlLwqtm8f22KYQPFvI5mHF_MrQjLVaUKEnxT5sIzbIe46wHfVt0KhDHT8-4FyKFazW8WB9A5AsCxHuDACBAKvLwa71pRQmGXHFBze5kGws/s320/Enlightenment.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5120599690316850754" /></a><br /><a href="http://www.okcupid.com/tests/2659618560150763379/Philosophy-Clarity">http://www.okcupid.com/tests/2659618560150763379/Philosophy-Clarity</a>Celestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-3365090997798456342007-10-01T02:51:00.000+08:002007-10-05T05:50:20.391+08:00Open Your Eyes<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivxltaiqwj9vPhgGZL6sH3PQLx0mZQt4vGMXjx_qfYjYH6S9HOGXcIQHhSpD0nx_enMS4nkpBTKM0VW2cW4T3ukNLzuzpg_lUR4bmgIyANVNc4drXeUij3HIoUfU-dFir5vsdgJvJRnzs/s1600-h/sequence+1"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivxltaiqwj9vPhgGZL6sH3PQLx0mZQt4vGMXjx_qfYjYH6S9HOGXcIQHhSpD0nx_enMS4nkpBTKM0VW2cW4T3ukNLzuzpg_lUR4bmgIyANVNc4drXeUij3HIoUfU-dFir5vsdgJvJRnzs/s200/sequence+1" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5117571824272516626" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3v17ieO4syFfW1Szz87j0cxB8VWyVNkrpRVsYBCREpL82GK4LclyciI9zFfHzpNWlP3IhzN-QdhmwicPxyQxgCKbo74RPpGVvkyhqBeu7d5yrxWHV_vjYQ3M7SN6S2_rElfbKHDDUIg0/s1600-h/sequence+2"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3v17ieO4syFfW1Szz87j0cxB8VWyVNkrpRVsYBCREpL82GK4LclyciI9zFfHzpNWlP3IhzN-QdhmwicPxyQxgCKbo74RPpGVvkyhqBeu7d5yrxWHV_vjYQ3M7SN6S2_rElfbKHDDUIg0/s200/sequence+2" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5117571828567483938" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisXL_RcGTkcgOFFcEJHYT8rSMMVma40DZTVw3DRmRO2QDHuhEsz60Q2kOqdhrqg0OyiBoS4UEBRf2TVxdW4dP2QhcIGJ5_b3w00rHgJaxyi_crFiddBbgkC1JxLwwKumY9isRTWbabk-4/s1600-h/sequence+3"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisXL_RcGTkcgOFFcEJHYT8rSMMVma40DZTVw3DRmRO2QDHuhEsz60Q2kOqdhrqg0OyiBoS4UEBRf2TVxdW4dP2QhcIGJ5_b3w00rHgJaxyi_crFiddBbgkC1JxLwwKumY9isRTWbabk-4/s200/sequence+3" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5117571832862451250" /></a><br /><strong>Monday:</strong> [Rushed to Ikea - Whoosh]<br />Sunk into the cloud of smoke. Hesitant yet half wanting the time to understand. This is no time to do so. I do not want to. My body does not want to. <br />My dreams are waiting...<br /><br /><strong>Tuesday: </strong>[Ikea Day 2 - Whoosh]<br />The body has been consumed into an addictive motion. I drew myself in to fit my other's temperament. Uncertain because it is conceited to be otherwise when I do not truly know...<br />I only sense it and that cannot be good enough until I completely know Sense.<br /><br /><strong>Wednesday:</strong> [Tristan Came Over - Whoosh]<br />The motion has sunk in. This is the mood of the times. I shall only obey although my heart is still unwilling to thoroughly take a stand. Because the aching voice of reason knows.<br />And the knowledge is getting stronger...<br /><br /><strong>Thursday:</strong> [La Baroque Party - Gulp - Red Bar Afters - Gulp]<br />I seem to be lost in a room of bleeding lights. The music is loud but my heart beats louder. I know I do not want to be here but I am anyway. Why? I go with the flow too much when I have not yet decide...<br />Later could mean I ruin my quickness of focus, of that sweet clarity.<br /><br /><strong>Friday:</strong> [Magazine Media Party - Gulp]<br />I was talking to my mother, flying through peaceful blue skies, harmonious and in tuned with it all. I have reached that elusive point. The flute has started playing for me...<br />I am serenaded by that beautiful melodious meditation.<br /><br /><strong>Saturday:</strong> [Hendrix Reunion Party - Gulp - Bryan's Birthday Bash - Gulp]<br />Dipping my toes into the feel of the past I shivered in distaste. So I ended up sitting there, not participating and not disregarding. Just the observer that has wandered there before and know you but could bring you away if you wanted her to.<br />This reality is the illusion of glamour for escape...<br /><br /><strong>Sunday:</strong> [Mahjong Dinner Party - Stretch]<br />I have finally made up my mind, thought to the end about the trail of things and seen what I needed to see. I knew that I missed dreaming and this endless state of unrest was hurting my vision.<br />I have clambered back on that horse, riding smoothly back onto the pilgrim's path of love.Celestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-18702443339739068892007-09-25T03:24:00.000+08:002007-09-25T04:20:54.043+08:00Sade's Kiss<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAPV0Pt5-nLzX43SOnngQfNo_FhUH48T43p08DyO-quNyPcyFxiH5pwB84IyXcsB3gRiGwuyLfhLAeIk2x5ix7DLvafj64W7BN5E4lfn3f8zt1o6iJOsPvCYfyfrakeIMYlVMVl2OrENA/s1600-h/sade.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAPV0Pt5-nLzX43SOnngQfNo_FhUH48T43p08DyO-quNyPcyFxiH5pwB84IyXcsB3gRiGwuyLfhLAeIk2x5ix7DLvafj64W7BN5E4lfn3f8zt1o6iJOsPvCYfyfrakeIMYlVMVl2OrENA/s400/sade.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5113868179483895282" /></a><br />woman dressed in a red cheongsam<br />the look of ease and sex<br />sex, the rawest life of anything<br />the soul of the living<br /><br />you walk through the muted background<br />absorbed in nothing but yourself,<br />your emotional mind's intellect<br />your skin's feel and the taste of your lips<br /><br />dance! dance my symbollic heart<br />your being is a reminder<br />to feeling, breathing, loving.<br />I pledge my allegiance to you.<br /><br />move like the delicate wind as it flies<br />certain as the naked babe<br />fears are unknown to you<br />except to conquer and understand<br /><br />I pledge my allegiance to you.Celestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-79037252722303008882007-09-08T01:02:00.000+08:002007-09-08T02:35:38.845+08:00Reflection<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh06R28J-V0OCw4-aTEeWuq9I3EJwV3d_04IJWwKYajX8heuB6ksF0_vL13iu0q9Ud1G-42xUAu_PBn-6PiKFj5r-GHWOFGWrlozSMgbgDuORG_DiHcDtQyRSF5R0gcb8L3h9fH-vQYZKc/s1600-h/Cartoonify+Me.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh06R28J-V0OCw4-aTEeWuq9I3EJwV3d_04IJWwKYajX8heuB6ksF0_vL13iu0q9Ud1G-42xUAu_PBn-6PiKFj5r-GHWOFGWrlozSMgbgDuORG_DiHcDtQyRSF5R0gcb8L3h9fH-vQYZKc/s400/Cartoonify+Me.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5107530222088152466" /></a><br />It was so much easier to see when I detached myself from the chaos and entanglement of daily living. And things started to fit into their natural place smoothly - the focusses of A to Z were crisp and clean, harmonising deeply into a beautiful state. It is these moments that I live for. When I am magically aroused but so peaceful. It is the point in which my soul feels so magnified and the body less of a burden but an instrument in which to express and experience. The point in which I am listening to the voice of the universe and am at one with the whole of creation.<br /><br />It is here when I do not delve into gossips that the bored mind dwells on in search of connecting and the want to put into words complex feelings that was created in response to another. The analysis of those feelings usually surface towards a black or white direction although the entirety is never as simple as that. It was just the exchange of energies, and it is really unnecessary to qualify and quantify the experience of the person to be something too straightforwardly good or bad. We can discuss. But we do not get locked into the conversation so far as to become stuck in one mood, belittling the emotions that could be shared and the real intelligence of the ideas.<br /><br />It is also at this heightened state that I am unaffected by the games of fearful people with their lashes of mockery and complementary thick, bullet-proof walled up hearts and insincere self-composed smiles. It does not matter because I see it whole and am not involved in it personally. And because I am not entangled in it, I can be truly forensic and yet truly sympathetic. Because our job is to understand. To see it all. When we label and we tag, limiting to help us understand, that is but child's play. We are not seeing it all, cutting off corners to make it easier. But it ain't the truth and we ain't kids no more.Celestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-82580475616447501052007-08-31T22:41:00.000+08:002007-09-07T04:19:19.623+08:00The Balance Scale of a Spirit's Bodily Connections<p><strong>First Point on the Scale of Communicative Application - "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK"</strong><br />Complete disregard of whatever opinion, flawed thought process and limited awareness judgments the other party might have. Finds it unnecessary and likely futile to make the effort to engage and create an environment suitable for their ego's walls and masks to still bring across the message of truth and scholarly study.<br /><br /><strong>Mid Point to Center on the Scale of Communicative Application - "CARING JUST THAT LITTLE BIT"</strong><br />The flawed thought processes are inconsequential due to easy labelling in the pretext of understanding. Politely engages but does not Love and thus the intention to impartially not create any environment slowly moves towards hostility. After all, the insistence to keep a scholarly condition was done with full knowledge of the other's inability, in that circumstance, to do so.<br /><br /><strong>Center on the Scale of Communicative Application -</strong> <strong>"HARMONY"<br /></strong>Flawed thought processes are a part of the truth as the truth encompasses more than just the stripped beginning. Understanding is knowing one smooth point to the next and is not the maker of Right and Wrong. Engages empathisingly, whole-heartedly human to human, and disengages trustingly, individualistically human to human. Detached enough to see everything but attached enough to feel everything. And so the communicative input will only be the piecing of jigsaws, from smaller to bigger puzzles.<br /><br /><strong>Mid Point to Last Point on the Scale of Communicative Application -</strong> <strong>"OVER-CARING JUST THAT LITTLE BIT"</strong><br />Knows that all thought can be understood but does not truly understand. Analyse and vocalise to aid and point, all seeing but not feeling. Engages nearly too deeply but disengages in reluctance to invade yet the interference has already made its way into the confused mind and damage might have already been done.<br /><br /><strong>Last Point on the Scale of Communicative Application -</strong> <strong>"I FUCKING CARE TOO MUCH"</strong><br />Thoroughly disregards understanding but insists upon the truth. Hot-headed passion-filled analysis creates a mess of the actual Truth. The other party's wayward thinking frustrates and angers but that creates a more powerful disgust inward. The resulting negative friction eradicates all the precious thoughts that was exchanged and what remains will only be the bruised ego and the hate. </p><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjQ8DFkBoU63Odn-LgsbNZa3f_w69yGFWnfxspGMfH2kRtYWB76uKzEbJ0En0t3osYMjstuU_nDrO86_8WKjXeLIdviy8z9VwGYoUBxROUpNgAQ6ujhpaWvPN3evXvYOGWweGDrNG-RhY/s1600-h/Picture+167.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5104940601621800258" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjQ8DFkBoU63Odn-LgsbNZa3f_w69yGFWnfxspGMfH2kRtYWB76uKzEbJ0En0t3osYMjstuU_nDrO86_8WKjXeLIdviy8z9VwGYoUBxROUpNgAQ6ujhpaWvPN3evXvYOGWweGDrNG-RhY/s200/Picture+167.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibY-Wfl32GCNxBM88qwFeWCN6hUY14QCxAqDqEDRdMq-Pc4W-MIy4vEbkxmPNxvMEV-n8dTb8_OVCQNUIYotWpxqUbliAzWzMRXls753PHZLP87rcwTI4fF000bMOTcZ9f8z8Ftbz3Em8/s1600-h/Picture+166.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5104940588736898354" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibY-Wfl32GCNxBM88qwFeWCN6hUY14QCxAqDqEDRdMq-Pc4W-MIy4vEbkxmPNxvMEV-n8dTb8_OVCQNUIYotWpxqUbliAzWzMRXls753PHZLP87rcwTI4fF000bMOTcZ9f8z8Ftbz3Em8/s200/Picture+166.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivgUuhgfO135aIENVNKVrkzeJxTu_e6qHoY_XmUQkWFIYvoWwWbSnKg4MQdNEVmDE5sqfZXn2m7bm8sczfAmFrPqQBuGIqIc0N7D7LjztwOmElpOK8xl7ym9rUDCiSsygqegnkfUW1Dvk/s1600-h/IMG_0881.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5104940627391604082" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivgUuhgfO135aIENVNKVrkzeJxTu_e6qHoY_XmUQkWFIYvoWwWbSnKg4MQdNEVmDE5sqfZXn2m7bm8sczfAmFrPqQBuGIqIc0N7D7LjztwOmElpOK8xl7ym9rUDCiSsygqegnkfUW1Dvk/s200/IMG_0881.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgWegeUaQrA3EgCrP0Yl2zRGDj58vUOB79tKee99SwbZyw_eNyaoL4nZ3y0SW3s_65dl1l8XRM9mBwC_pUv5zawxfA9b7BJ_SGk0mtTnAXEP9RZqTVxfhWeU9FOYwzam4owh6DFAoKqZk/s1600-h/Picture+169.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5104940618801669474" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgWegeUaQrA3EgCrP0Yl2zRGDj58vUOB79tKee99SwbZyw_eNyaoL4nZ3y0SW3s_65dl1l8XRM9mBwC_pUv5zawxfA9b7BJ_SGk0mtTnAXEP9RZqTVxfhWeU9FOYwzam4owh6DFAoKqZk/s200/Picture+169.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaAWUHFgu7pGliMhCqwxNVbQhrVARFote6xCjrlz4ngG5YGeh1EJiCl_1PGsl5yrnwDCpW0aD2Lj9LtagR_jrFOURHkZ8FHOZ7F3-RbvOHlGNa8qdBaQrHMYtZMPGuoc8qlAiWyicyzbA/s1600-h/Picture+168.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5104940605916767570" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaAWUHFgu7pGliMhCqwxNVbQhrVARFote6xCjrlz4ngG5YGeh1EJiCl_1PGsl5yrnwDCpW0aD2Lj9LtagR_jrFOURHkZ8FHOZ7F3-RbvOHlGNa8qdBaQrHMYtZMPGuoc8qlAiWyicyzbA/s200/Picture+168.jpg" border="0" /></a>Celestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-69963616196434790142007-08-18T18:17:00.001+08:002007-08-18T18:22:14.567+08:00Deepak Chopra and Meditation<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/3yIxPN7VOkI' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/3yIxPN7VOkI'/></object></p><p>Beautiful, beautiful Deepak Chopra. I can see from his demeanour and his words that his mind and heart fuses together so very coherently. He is at such a meditative, balanced mode, where logic and emotion intertwines at equilibrium, that he can tap into the mysteries more easily than the rest of us with our chaotic minds. What he is is just so perfectly human. A great example of our innermost potential. I would really love to sit him down and talk to him all day.</p></div>Celestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-60259983157283276742007-08-04T02:28:00.000+08:002007-08-04T15:59:37.614+08:00The Carrying Mess~Unfocussed Brilliance Leads Nowhere~<br /><br />I understand that swear words deserve not that heavy taboo that was given them because their presence signifies many movements - the right to free speech, the right to expression, the liberation of the self. Beyond that, what I see is that there is nothing so damning with using vulgarities to express oneself. The intensity that a curse word can give has sometimes the only suitable weight to perfectly articulate the feeling behind it. Isn't exactness, in <em>purity </em>(without conditioning and taboos), the only thing anyone would want to project in communication? So it seems that the taboo upon swearing only came about in a form of suppression of that intensity of feeling. That if we do not swear, do not tangibly show that feeling in words, that immense energy will not exist, and society is as emotionless as it ever was. Invisible walls as a fortress to keep the unwanted out. <br /><br />Older people who are seeking safety and security do not like to be riled up and so feel scandalised by the release of such intensity. Negative or positive intensity is as scandalising but the 'negative' ones (curse words easily fit into that category) get bashed up much quicker because justification can be effortlessly arranged using either religion's blasphemy, reasonless authority or association devices.<br /><br />>I know this but I hesitate to use the word FUCK when I meet a new friend of the same sex and same race. I wait to know what the person is like before choosing to be comfortable and myself around the person, no longer watchful of my words, but expressing exactly the content and the feeling of what I want to say. It is so fake to be technical like this when it is only the content and feeling that truly matters.<br /><br />The female gender is less tolerant of the word because less of their sex use it, probably because I do think in general, women as opposed to men do not question convention as much (or perhaps as openly). It's a logical assemblance of thought since women have been suppressed for so long having a history of being dependants and considered by men (who were the only ones allowed to own property) to be either assets/liabilities. Loosely speaking, the world is more condemning on women who use swear words rather than men, and so among themselves they have gradually developed the idea to a fact that it is unbecoming for a woman to use such vulgarities and when someone does, to be offended or shocked, especially if it comes from a lady. It is as though the person has crossed a boundary meaningfully with the intent to provoke or create chaos for everybody else around.<br /><br />The Chinese do expect certain proprieties to be observed and spouting off swear words left and right is definitely not something easily tolerated. If it is an elder, the violator's head would be bitten off in the ensuing rebuke or frozen off in the ensuing hostility. And all the more since I am chinese and <em>should</em> be aware of the practices of the Chinese, the likelier the invading response if the recipient of my vulgarities is of the mind that the said words are taboo.<br /><br />Thus I have to test the waters before I can safely be myself. Which is completely bullshit since testing the waters means the other party bravely exposes herself/himself first and then I know it is okay. Like the people I have thought to be untruthful to themselves in the desperate want for safety and security, I am the hypocrite that cannot carry myself through a simple task in the fear of offending and shocking. In addition to that, very often during the process of testing the waters, I am a mess of self, not knowing how to respond or initiate, conducting myself terribly like a confused girl who can be put down, laughed at by anyone since I seem alright with it.<br /><br />I seek to understand many things. Vulgar language is just an example. But knowing so much in theory and not being these things is just bullshit yet again. I know this and that is why I am a carrying mess. I carry myself as a mess. This isn't always true because sometimes I am clearheaded and complete, but those times are short breaths taken in a long day out. <br /><br />I must be who I am in my head, or else I will never be living up to my full potential. My mind's messages are too separate from my body's delivery.<br /><br />Off I go to be full. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyfhfjmv5Y8tIqnzcQphEINrdHfHC50mT9EHB0hBkn6ly7lV-eBBbxd9n0ECeGLU3F7YQMvti8TVoGVCw0MiYeN9QXRdw0xG10COqLZRXaOshBqdkFfkBh1Ke48nEtZZzK4cJAsiq_gpI/s1600-h/IMG_1250.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyfhfjmv5Y8tIqnzcQphEINrdHfHC50mT9EHB0hBkn6ly7lV-eBBbxd9n0ECeGLU3F7YQMvti8TVoGVCw0MiYeN9QXRdw0xG10COqLZRXaOshBqdkFfkBh1Ke48nEtZZzK4cJAsiq_gpI/s400/IMG_1250.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5094600446500910434" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />~a short breath still brings life to a difficult day~Celestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-31733270734297633412007-07-18T05:52:00.000+08:002007-08-10T20:19:22.641+08:00The Game of MahjongI see the now. I see the evermore. All is clear. All is peaceful. Balancing at this point is easy because it is the most natural occurrence. I see the now. I see the evermore.<br /><br />*<br /><br />First I receive my tiles. Nothing more, nothing less. Flowers are replaced. Turn by turn. More flowers are replaced. Turn after turn. While there is a wait, cards are arranged, a discard tile is set.<br /><br />Next I play the game. Watch the throws, adjust my game to the flow. I must be conscious of the flow. Heighten my senses, understand the mental energies. If I have a fan already I make my first set as soon as it comes. Only if my cards can go either way.<br /><br />If it has eight of the same I make my efforts towards getting all the same. If it is distinctly 3 of a kind I play that as well. If it is a very good combination of consecutives, that's what I will do. As I said, see the flow. See the flow of EVERYTHING.<br /><br /><a href="http://img.alibaba.com/photo/50484180/Fully_Automatic_Mahjong_Table.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px;" src="http://img.alibaba.com/photo/50484180/Fully_Automatic_Mahjong_Table.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />Clarity is when you see the immediate to the infinite. You know what to focus on now. And you do that. You know what you have to do next and you smoothly move on to that. Like a paragraph to the next. Coherent and cohesive. Perfection. Most of all, you know what the entire purpose is and it all links up to that. There is no confusion as to which step comes first in the mind, which surrounds and which follows. They are all different but arranged. They are not fixed but flexible. They respond to the flows that comes and goes, and they are guiltless and egoless. No pain on the slips, no self-labelling on the falls. Each slip is easily utilised to the next step. Each fall is seen as part and parcel of the process.<br /><br />Clarity is the undeniable wisdom.<br /><br />*<br /><br />I see the now. I see the evermore. All is clear. All is peaceful. Balancing at this point is easy because it is the most natural occurrence. I see the now. I see the evermore.Celestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-69859840560119127592007-07-07T05:26:00.000+08:002007-07-08T16:07:23.315+08:00The Golden Compass (Film)<embed src="http://pdl.stream.aol.com/newline/gl/newline/trailers/GC/GoldenCompass_TSR1_Med_dl.mov" start="fileopen" height="224" width="480" pluginspage="http://www.quicktime.apple.com/download/" controller="true" loop="false" autoplay="true"></embed><br /><br />I am extremely excited that they are going to screen the first part of Philip Pullman's trilogy. The books were so special to me for it was fantasy at its best. Childlike, magical and romantic. There are just so many elements in it that got me all worked up and begging for more. It talked about nearly everything I like to talk about and created a beautiful world that I would have liked to create, be in or just dream about. <br /><br />The visions in my head as I read the book are now going to materialise on the magical big screen. I can't wait!Celestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-14214972091499670182007-07-04T20:33:00.000+08:002007-08-10T20:48:19.267+08:00my familymy beautiful father...<br /><br />your love for music was what connected us fully<br />that understanding of Emotion as an intelligent force<br />and so there was always that trust we had in each other<br />to realise the subtleties that lies between all<br /><br />but as the years went by the light dimmed in your eyes<br />your skepticism grew, your Emotions seemed to have died<br />your being just you became overwhelmed by the you that the ignorant only knew<br />i see you daddy, and i know <em>you </em>- the fire that is quintessentially you.<br /><br /><br />my beautiful mother...<br /><br />your superficial concerns bothered me<br />how the path to success was such a strict one-way route<br />and then as your endless attention choked me silently,<br />your soul neverendingly ignored mine<br /><br />but as the years went by i saw you<br />the you as a child to a girl to a mum<br />the woman that had fears, had dreams, had tears<br />and i understood that i am you and you are me.<br /><br /><br />my beautiful brother Cedric...<br /><br />your happiness was undesirable to those around<br />it rendered you too carefree to a bourjeoisie crowd,<br />too unable to see the drive that you ought to have<br />and i was sucked in with just that little help from my own insecurities<br /><br />but as my self-awareness grew, i saw how misjudged you were<br />a victim of weakness in others and not weakness in you<br />a character borne out of steered perception and not out of truth<br />and i remembered the boy that i have always loved so deeply yet quietly.<br /><br /><br />my beautiful brother Calixtus...<br /><br />your genius was never in question<br />at any young age you were able to take on the knowledge of any adult<br />but you became just the baby prodigy<br />and when there was another and when you grew up, <em>you</em> disappeared.<br /><br />what nobody understood was the depths of your genius<br />it carried beyond the bounds of academic progress<br />it was the passionate search for the answers to mysteries<br />you are the brave warrior soldiering on to take on the universe.<br /><br /><br />my beautiful brother Carrick...<br /><br />your mature selflessness became misunderstood<br />you were uncommon and humble and sweet<br />you were cutie as cutie can be<br />you were Too Good To Be True<br /><br />but it was true and you are my most precious gift<br />so full of life, so full of every possible good thing i know in this existence<br />you are so very precious to me<br />you are my bestest, bestest friend<br /><br /><br />so much love to give to all of you... so much joy... i thank you all for everything.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNrY5WlB0ADTYRiFOFu1ouhSAUYlJ03ig4cEGP6HE5SLNH4HHUFIPk38v6Xz8yYCirT_1-3PpfRAXo5S0NmBJtiyFzWMZmgpL6DMJJtmlIE0EY5FtRpD7qHNYisE41QABBj6uL645rgDw/s1600-h/Cedric+%26+Me.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNrY5WlB0ADTYRiFOFu1ouhSAUYlJ03ig4cEGP6HE5SLNH4HHUFIPk38v6Xz8yYCirT_1-3PpfRAXo5S0NmBJtiyFzWMZmgpL6DMJJtmlIE0EY5FtRpD7qHNYisE41QABBj6uL645rgDw/s400/Cedric+%26+Me.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5083684854410293474" /></a><br /><P ALIGN=Center>Cedric & MeCelestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8880724727235001457.post-63985660690836357382007-06-09T00:34:00.000+08:002007-06-15T02:38:02.114+08:00the perverse retardation of the naturalLife is raging against each other<br />backlashes, conflict thrashes<br />we all begin beautiful, potent<br />but jadedness, the cold beast<br />tears into us in a sharp downpour of rain<br />drenching all our hopes<br />smothering all our joys<br />the wonder of the senses<br />the awe of everything<br />do you know it?<br />does it know you?<br />in the flooding rain we weep<br />a victim of our own doing<br />placing limitations after limitations on ourselves<br />when we fail and fail again<br />Knowledge in this way earned is nought<br />but more chains on our prison cells<br />we close door after door not knowing <br />that there was so much more unexplored within those walls<br />and not knowing that they are nought<br />but walls put up by our minds<br />in search for security?<br />in search for stability?<br />in search for that safeness of already<br />anticipating the worse so we will not hurt.<br />that cowardly behaviour in One<br />seeps its deadly venom into All<br />when we use mockery, names and judgment<br />we are the tool of unrest and unfulfilment<br />to be unaffected by these knives of society<br />we have to harden ourselves and apprehend the pain<br />and this is the trend of practice<br />we prepare our children for<br /><br />we grow older and look towards stability<br />i shall remind you now<br />what you already know<br />the most stable place to be, <br />where no childish risks<br />or adolescent adventure<br />can be condemned of<br />lies ultimately,<br /><br />In the coffin.<br /><br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br />In the process of protecting ourselves so extravagantly, we have forgotten how to love and live.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBo5rbJBbC2rhBSHvuUNld4z2f3HOVyccZkV2Wyit3m8c4GU3LZwXhoNA2dQ_bm79T-SMJqM8ObYC6paOGHWumhoLgabKo7aguNc_xt-YpGm7KPp3vhyphenhyphenUC8tHIv7c52wXvHxf7XegNYq0/s1600-h/24-01-07love.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBo5rbJBbC2rhBSHvuUNld4z2f3HOVyccZkV2Wyit3m8c4GU3LZwXhoNA2dQ_bm79T-SMJqM8ObYC6paOGHWumhoLgabKo7aguNc_xt-YpGm7KPp3vhyphenhyphenUC8tHIv7c52wXvHxf7XegNYq0/s400/24-01-07love.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5075990239534410866" /></a>Celestinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09891004986565614201noreply@blogger.com3