Reflection

It was so much easier to see when I detached myself from the chaos and entanglement of daily living. And things started to fit into their natural place smoothly - the focusses of A to Z were crisp and clean, harmonising deeply into a beautiful state. It is these moments that I live for. When I am magically aroused but so peaceful. It is the point in which my soul feels so magnified and the body less of a burden but an instrument in which to express and experience. The point in which I am listening to the voice of the universe and am at one with the whole of creation.

It is here when I do not delve into gossips that the bored mind dwells on in search of connecting and the want to put into words complex feelings that was created in response to another. The analysis of those feelings usually surface towards a black or white direction although the entirety is never as simple as that. It was just the exchange of energies, and it is really unnecessary to qualify and quantify the experience of the person to be something too straightforwardly good or bad. We can discuss. But we do not get locked into the conversation so far as to become stuck in one mood, belittling the emotions that could be shared and the real intelligence of the ideas.

It is also at this heightened state that I am unaffected by the games of fearful people with their lashes of mockery and complementary thick, bullet-proof walled up hearts and insincere self-composed smiles. It does not matter because I see it whole and am not involved in it personally. And because I am not entangled in it, I can be truly forensic and yet truly sympathetic. Because our job is to understand. To see it all. When we label and we tag, limiting to help us understand, that is but child's play. We are not seeing it all, cutting off corners to make it easier. But it ain't the truth and we ain't kids no more.

The Heavy Heart/The Growing Ego

I opened it with growing anticipation.
My mind has stopped and only expectation remained.
I want something good but anything could be bad.
Except what I desired, Astounding.
It became not about the object but about my self-image.
It became all about whether I was good or was bad.
One item could bring down my sense of worth.
One item could reign supreme against all other occasions.
Just because it is the most recent occurence.
One reason could neglect all others in the rage of insecurity.
Began by the Ego, craved by the weak.
It is easier to let go to nasty suspicions.
To lay upon others the job to affirm the lazy spirit.

It was ALL irrational, illogical...

(I opened it with anticipation.
Knowing full well that the box was old although it was heavy.
It would be grand to have something good, but 'bad' only does exist for the pessimist.
I know it can be Astounding, and if it wasn't, the next would be.
My Self has nothing to do with all that happens.
My Self is that distant observer watching it all.
All time - past, present, future - is the same to my Self.
Every reason equates to all others to infinity.
Began by the Heart, the true position.
The Ego blocks the heart which in turns, the mind.
And it is impossible to think at full Self.)

~

My Love, thank you for being my muse.