I understand that swear words deserve not that heavy taboo that was given them because their presence signifies many movements - the right to free speech, the right to expression, the liberation of the self. Beyond that, what I see is that there is nothing so damning with using vulgarities to express oneself. The intensity that a curse word can give has sometimes the only suitable weight to perfectly articulate the feeling behind it. Isn't exactness, in purity (without conditioning and taboos), the only thing anyone would want to project in communication? So it seems that the taboo upon swearing only came about in a form of suppression of that intensity of feeling. That if we do not swear, do not tangibly show that feeling in words, that immense energy will not exist, and society is as emotionless as it ever was. Invisible walls as a fortress to keep the unwanted out.
Older people who are seeking safety and security do not like to be riled up and so feel scandalised by the release of such intensity. Negative or positive intensity is as scandalising but the 'negative' ones (curse words easily fit into that category) get bashed up much quicker because justification can be effortlessly arranged using either religion's blasphemy, reasonless authority or association devices.
>I know this but I hesitate to use the word FUCK when I meet a new friend of the same sex and same race. I wait to know what the person is like before choosing to be comfortable and myself around the person, no longer watchful of my words, but expressing exactly the content and the feeling of what I want to say. It is so fake to be technical like this when it is only the content and feeling that truly matters.
The female gender is less tolerant of the word because less of their sex use it, probably because I do think in general, women as opposed to men do not question convention as much (or perhaps as openly). It's a logical assemblance of thought since women have been suppressed for so long having a history of being dependants and considered by men (who were the only ones allowed to own property) to be either assets/liabilities. Loosely speaking, the world is more condemning on women who use swear words rather than men, and so among themselves they have gradually developed the idea to a fact that it is unbecoming for a woman to use such vulgarities and when someone does, to be offended or shocked, especially if it comes from a lady. It is as though the person has crossed a boundary meaningfully with the intent to provoke or create chaos for everybody else around.
The Chinese do expect certain proprieties to be observed and spouting off swear words left and right is definitely not something easily tolerated. If it is an elder, the violator's head would be bitten off in the ensuing rebuke or frozen off in the ensuing hostility. And all the more since I am chinese and should be aware of the practices of the Chinese, the likelier the invading response if the recipient of my vulgarities is of the mind that the said words are taboo.
Thus I have to test the waters before I can safely be myself. Which is completely bullshit since testing the waters means the other party bravely exposes herself/himself first and then I know it is okay. Like the people I have thought to be untruthful to themselves in the desperate want for safety and security, I am the hypocrite that cannot carry myself through a simple task in the fear of offending and shocking. In addition to that, very often during the process of testing the waters, I am a mess of self, not knowing how to respond or initiate, conducting myself terribly like a confused girl who can be put down, laughed at by anyone since I seem alright with it.
I seek to understand many things. Vulgar language is just an example. But knowing so much in theory and not being these things is just bullshit yet again. I know this and that is why I am a carrying mess. I carry myself as a mess. This isn't always true because sometimes I am clearheaded and complete, but those times are short breaths taken in a long day out.
I must be who I am in my head, or else I will never be living up to my full potential. My mind's messages are too separate from my body's delivery.
Off I go to be full.
~a short breath still brings life to a difficult day~
14 comments:
There is a double standard in society when it comes to men and women. It's not right but there it is. You are right men can say such things and it be more acceptable. If a woman says such words it's not received as well.
Why the double standard? Good question. There shouldn't be one.
To answer your question on my blog. I am a Christian. My husband is a pastor. Thank you for stopping by again.
I'm sorry, it's considered non-denominational. You can check out more about our church under my links in the sidebar. It's the first one listed called, The Bridge. Click the "about us" on the top and it tells you our beliefs.
We've been at this current church for 6 years. It's been a blast.
wut a great pic!
Men n women r 'seen' differently...unfortunately that is.
Keshi.
Thank you so much for the compliment you left at my blog! I don't really have any tips other than keep it clean and simple while still giving it your personal touch. From what your blog looks like, I really don't think you need any more tips, I love your layout! This is Rad of geekarooni.com, btw. :)
It's irrational how people are so easily offended by simple cuss words. But that's what makes saying them more fun, heh >:)
I despise the fact that women cannot say things that men can. I, too, have allowed my thoughts to wander down the path you explore here. Unfortunately, all it does is make me feel helplessly angry. Mayhap someday there will be true equality everywhere.
ryn: thank you ^_^
I use fuck all the time. Like, "Oh fuck, I'm late again." But swearing is more unforgivable for women more then men and it's unfair. Tsk.
Btw, the layout for the photo gallery is provided by the plugin I've installed. If you decide to get your own hosting and domain, I'll help you set it up :)
Curse words were once considered to be the domain of the lower class, and thus people who cussed were considered beneath proper ladies and gentlemen.
The double standard between men and women still lives today. When I hear a man curse, I think nothing of it ... when a woman curses, I think it makes them look ugly.
Hmmm... Paul has a good point. I guess then you'll have to decide which you hold more dear; to be yourself and curse, or to be a girl men don't despise (I have that same dilemma; I like wearing flashy clothes, bf doesn't; I often end up compromising to please my partner).
Btw, i envy you! From your pic, Singapore looks like it's got loads of hot guys. You lucky girl! *sniff* ;-)
Iam really impressed by the way you seem to be thinking out loud in your blogs...dont be too hard on urself, just be...u probably are more complete than you think
Very interesting. You know, I had an English teacher who used to tell us to make sure we used the exact words to express ourselves. Sometimes curses become the short hand for the intensity of emotion we are feeling. Sometimes they take the place of the feelings for which we do not have words.
It is interesting that you had brought up this topic. It is not sorta fanciful stress reliever "word" that fails to be in the scanner but it is about who says it. And I may not know about China, in particular, but I think the society every where in most of the Asian economy seems to be one of these is'nt it. The knuckles are rapped if you cuss around at will more so if men do it is sorta associated as "Cool" whilst women do it is scornful and does not go well.
Hey, perhaps it is because, beauty is associated to women and you or for that matter no one wants to see the other side of the "beautiful" women :-) How about looking at this incident like that ?
Thanks much for dropping by and hope to see you again :)
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